MAP: Well, any map that appears to be made
entirely out of sheet metal and drywall is alright
in my book... except this one. The deranged
11-year old responsible for "Myhome"
has absolutely no sense of proportion and tosses
random textures everywhere like an angry, disoriented
wallpaper hanger with attention deficit disorder.
The map's lighting basically follows the same
philosophy, as each grotesquely disfigured room
you encounter contains some different sort of
failed experiment in attempted illumination.
This house has no visible windows or exits either,
probably because the place was condemned and
boarded up after the owner went crazy, murdered
his family, and installed seven miles of RGB
on this couch and you can pretty much
forget about ever having children.
I've probably played hundreds of these "Look,
it's my stupid fucking house!!!" type maps
and I can honestly say that I have NEVER
seen a good or even semi-tolerable map that
was based on someone's house, apartment, or
other place of residence. Why are there so many
mappers out there that think we'd all like to
take "virtual tours" of their retarded
houses and why oh why do they always seem to
live in the ugliest fucking houses
known to man?!? What is so inherently fascinating
to these bad mappers about their own houses,
anyway? Is it the prefab furniture? Is it the
hideously bloated stair railings? Is it the
fact that if they ever attempt to leave them,
the bracelet on their ankle triggers an alarm
and law enforcement officers arrive at the scene
within minutes? Don't ask me, I'm still trying
to figure out why the hell this guy has a green
Kool-Aid couch in his living room.
I think this map was originally intended for
deathmatch but upon starting it in DM mode,
you'll invariably encounter the old Wall-Inserted
Player Start O' Love and be forced to quit.
Single player could've theoretically been challenging,
but since there isn't any node placement the
three enemies you encounter, they just sit there,
cowering in the corner. After playing the map
for two minutes I followed their example.
FACTOR: None. Not even the inclusion of
a Prefab Soda Machine[TM] can hide the fact
that this map fucking blows.
BOTTOM LINE: The repulsive, disproportioned
piece of real estate that "Myhome"
is based upon should immediately be demolished
to make room for something more important like
a Wal-Mart or a moderately large stack of cardboard
boxes. Oh yeah, or a mental institution. If
there's one thing that this map has taught me
it's that we definitely need more mental institutions.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully
terrible). Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50
(the worst piece of shit you'll ever play).