look, the map goes down!
it goes up too!
"The Abyss of Abysmal Death (That Means Abyss of
Unmeasureable Death)" can best be described as
some kind of oil platform with parking garage type ramps
in the middle of a hollowed out rock square. All kinds
of people should like this map, from people who like
going up inclines, to people that like descending platforms.
There are six platforms on this vertical nightmare,
but "don't be deceived though, the level is plenty
large enough for 4-8 players." This is a purely
theoretical statement, as there are not 4-8 people in
this world that would play "The Abyss of Abysmal
Death (That Means Abyss of Unmeasureable Death)"
at once without being intoxicated or legally braindead.
MAP: The map's about 50 feet wide and 5,000 feet
tall. You are rewarded for going up (or, conversely,
down) by getting weapons that are placed behind random
crate prefabs. The weapons for the most part are completely
ineffective, as you can't target anybody because all
the ramps go down and behind each other. The best tactic
is to grab the grenade launcher and chuck cylinders
of death randomly all over the map. No, scratch that,
the best tactic is to grab the rocket launcher, blow
yourself up, and end the pain. At the bottom of "The
Abyss of Abysmal Death (That Means Abyss of Unmeasureable
Death)" is some water, a floating crate, and a
teleporter. The crate's sole function is to say "hey
look, I know how to put floating crates in my map!",
and the teleport warps you up to the top of the map
so you don't have to spend another hour running up there
yourself. This saved me a lot of trouble, as I often
felt the need to rush to the top of the map and stare
at the Quake 2 skybox for hours.
When playing the Forgetful Lumberjack on this map, the
two words that immediately sprung to mind were "saltwater
enema." As I mentioned before, you can't target
anybody on "The Abyss of Abysmal Death (That Means
Abyss of Unmeasureable Death)" because of the parking
garage layout; people are always running down, up, and
behind the Quake 2 crates (tm). Spawn points all seem
to be facing rock walls, so if you spawn anywhere near
another player, you're a prime target for a second or
two. Sounds fair to me.
something like one unique weapon per level, so if you
can successfully go from the top of the map to the bottom
without falling into a coma, you'll be loaded with guns.
If you ever run out of ammo, you'll have to traverse
the entire parking garage again, so get ready for some
FACTOR: This is, by far, the best map I have ever
played. Whoops, I'm sorry, replace the words "the
best map I ever played" with "a small chunk
of shit." It's uninspired, tedious, dull, and any
other synonym for "boring" you can think of.
At least there's not a shitload of colored lighting,
I've got to give him that.
BOTTOM LINE: If you have a parking garage fetish
or like maps designed like oil rigs, you still probably
won't want to download "The Abyss of Abysmal Death
(That Means Abyss of Unmeasureable Death)".
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully terrible).
Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the worst piece
of shit you'll ever play).