of armor await you (6 red suits in one room) if
you can tell them apart from the background.
nothing like camping in the great... uh, indoors.
ha, it's a campground... you know, because people camp
in Quake! Ha ha, that is funny, not unlike hit comedian
"400+K for a map file that took only 10 hours
to make? I think i'm on a roll... =)"
think he's on a mixture of metamphetamines and Windex.
Anybody who thinks a map is good merely due to the size
of it (and lack of time it took to create) is either
a complete moron or Erik.
Sometimes these two categories overlap. And in either
case, it's just not a good thing.
map is supposed to be some perverse tribute to camping,
you know, because it's a "clever" play on
words. Maybe the map would be better if you could distinguish
the random blobs that litter each square room and determine
how they relate to camping. I sure as hell can't, but
then again, I'm not really sparing too much energy to
try and figure it out. I have better things to do, like...
uh... review other bad maps and watch car chases on
MAP: You spawn in some otherworld type of "campground"
with a few rectangle bonfires that float above the ground
for some reason. In the middle of the square room (with
the "Doom" logo texture on the ceiling) there's
some kind of house / barn / spaceship / mess with the
quad inside. Littering every corner of the map is a
completely solid tent with no way in. What a great idea,
tents that are built around the campers, allowing no
unwanted intruders (bears, criminals, light, oxygen)
to get it. If those idiots in the Blair Witch Project
had some cool tents like these, they wouldn't have ended
up staring into the corner of an abandoned house (ooh,
get to the other "campground" (I can't think
of any better word for it), you must cross a bridge
over some lava. Many campgrounds these days are put
near lava pools so the white trash that hitch their
trailers up can just toss all their trash directly into
it. The BFG is, of course, balanced precariously over
some kind of lava tube, meaning that anybody going to
get it will fall directly into the blazing death. Oh,
the wacky and crazy things mapmakers do these days!
last room has six suits of red armor all within an arm's
reach of each other, perfect for servers that are playing
with a custom config that allows a maximum armor level
of 59,000. A floating red candle hovers inside the block
of house that squats in the middle of the room. It's
only purpose appears to be a big sign that says "Hey
look, I know how to make red lighting! Ignore all the
blocks of concrete and feces that surround this light,
just stare in awe at the wonders of RED LIGHTING!"
It's really, really dark and really, really red. One
room is full of weapons, one is full of armor, and another
is chock full of lava. If, for some odd reason this
sounds unbalanced, it's probably only because it is.
Your gameplay strategy will depend on what room you
start in. Here's some hints:
you start in the weapons-only room, you're going to
want to avoid getting shot, as you'll have no armor
you start in the armor-only room, you're going to
want to avoid shooting people, as you'll have no gun.
this sound interesting? Does this sound fun? If you
don't totally have an orgasm at the mere thought of
this map, you probably should see your psychiatrist
and get a refill of Paxil.
FACTOR: Below average. The colored lights (and lack
of any lighting) take what conceivable fun could be
derived from a map with a central theme of rock-solid
tents and large caches of weapons and armor.
BOTTOM LINE: How many people camp indoors? There's
a reason why the answer is "less than zero".
If you can't figure it out, download
this map and see for yourself.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully terrible).
Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the worst piece
of shit you'll ever play).