into the oddly placed lava patch...
you fall out of the map!
you're killing me here!
It's an Erik map, what more do I need to say?
If you've read any reviews of his previous pain
parades, you'll know that Erik is synonymous with
unholy colored lighting, obscene doorways, and
"traps" aplenty. This map is no exception.
MAP: Erik claims, "The design is very
bland. Too bright outside and too dark inside.
The quad trick is interseting though. I like the
fact it is centered around smaller guns. Thanks
to Dream Reaper for his(SMALL)contribution,"
but I beg to differ. This map is not centered
around "smaller guns", it's centered
around a big, hidden pentagram that Erik and his
minions worship before creating each map. I'd
imagine that the creation of each map in Erik's
house is kind of like the ending to "Rosemary's
Baby", where some evil, satanic hellspawn
is brought upon the unwitting world. I'm glad
I don't live in the same state as him (according
to his webpage, Idaho). If you do, I would advise
moving before the armed forces decide to drop
a few hundred thermonuclear weapons on the state
in order to keep Erik from attempting to make
Q3A maps. Because, as we all know, if you nuke
the hell out of something it just ends up growing
really big and tall and has a sudden urge to destroy
Tokyo. Or, in Erik's case, our eyesite.
map is a building of some sort with a courtyard
surrounding it. The building seems to be some
sort of converted barn or grain silo. What is
was converted to, I have no idea. Some kind of
unholy disco studio maybe, there's so many damn
colored flashing lights in the place I thought
I had accidentally popped a few hundred tabs of
LSD. The only difference between Erik's maps and
overdosing on LSD is the fact that the textures
you see in an LSD hallucination are much more
are placed in the most difficult places to reach,
as Erik subscribes to the gameplay theory of "Everybody
shooting the blaster at each other = good."
I don't recall there even being much ammo on this
map, but then again I was fairly drunk while playing.
I learned a long time ago that Erik's maps simply
cannot be played sober. Or at all, for that matter.
famous for his "traps", has come through
once again. In the middle of the courtyard outside,
there's a small patch of lava that looks more
out of place than Pauly Shore in a MENSA convention.
If you jump into the lava (the only way you could
actually fall into it), you drop out of the map.
Now THAT'S a trap! I can't figure out if Erik
did it on purpose or not, because me trying to
think like Erik would probably turn into the movie
"Silence of the Lambs." I can't fathom
rational explanations for the terrible things
I mention there's gigantic walls all over the
place with textures repeated a good 5,000-6,000
times per face? I don't? OK, good.
In theory, this map would be a blast to play deathmatch.
In theory, communism will work. Draw your own
FACTOR: It's better than some of the previous
Erik maps, but it's not as fun as hammering carpenter
nails into my arm.
BOTTOM LINE: If you liked Erik's previous
maps, you'll love this one. But if you liked Erik's
maps, you're either illiterate or incarcerated,
so I guess it doesn't matter.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully
terrible). Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50
(the worst piece of shit you'll ever play).