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08.29.1999: Cranky Steve - Q2 DM: "Erik 3"
The only room in the map where... well, it's the ONLY room in the map, period.
Reviewed By: Cranky Steve
Game Mode Supported:
I have no clue.
Overuse of Colored Lighting: Author doesn't understand complex terms like "lighting".
Spelling Errors in Text File: Yes.
Pain Level:
Delta Burke stabbing my thigh with a dinner fork.

Download Here (50 k)

One of the bonuses in Erik3 is the ability to walk off the edge of the map into an exciting new world. That is, until you fall to your death.

Erik3 is just one Quake 2 map in the series of "Erik#" maps, which can all be downloaded from one awful, eye tearing, painful website. For some odd reason, Erik has left the Quake 2 mapping scene, perhaps to consult an eye doctor. However, his maps live on.

DESCRIPTION: Who the hell knows. On Mr. Erik's homepage, the map is described as "A srange level with water for the walls and celling. My first one so it has some clitches but nothing to distract from the playability." If "srange" means "rather terrible" and "some clitches but nothing to distract from the playability" means "no playability and this map will make you pray for death because I am such a horrible, horrible monster for bringing this monstrosity upon an unwilling world", then he's hit the nail right on the head.

THE MAP: OK, you're in a big square room. You got that? Any questions?

The kicker is just how bad this square room is. All the walls and ceiling are made of water which you can swim out of, into a special no-clipping zone located outside of the map. There are various weapons thrown haphazardly about the map, many of them upon a 200-foot tall diving board kind of thing that you can only get to via the one spawn point in the map. This map simply seems to be an experiment in terror... perhaps the "Blair Erik Project", except I wouldn't want to subject anybody to this kind of horror.

GAMEPLAY: What gameplay? This map is 100% pure of concentrated evil. It's quite remarkable if you look at it that way. And it's quite fucking awful if you look at it any other way.

FUN FACTOR: Somebody call the Police, I'm about to jump off an overpass into oncoming traffic.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Need I say anything else? This map is the bottom line.

- Cranky Steve

Category: Rating:
Aesthetics: - 8
Gameplay: - 9
Item placement: - 8
Layout: - 9
Detail: - 5
TOTAL: - 40

Individual ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully terrible). Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the worst piece of shit you'll ever play).

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