some excellent texturing there,
your left you'll see something
awful and red. To your right,
something awful and green.
This concludes our tour of
'Half Satanic'. Thank you
and please return your protective
what a special Halloween treat!
"Half Satanic" is so spooky
and scary it'll make you want to
delete this monstrosity from your
harddrive immediately. Oh wait,
that's not because the map is scary,
it's because it's something awful,
The text file simply has a link
to the author's "homepage"
and the installation instructions
("Run the self extractor
specifying your Quake2 directory").
More fitting instructions would
be "Double click on the self
extracting utility and run out of
the room as fast as you can. Don't
return to your computer for at least
three days. Hope that somebody has
either stolen your system or the
hard drive has crashed in that time".
MAP: As previously mentioned,
this map is Half Satanic. It beats
me what the other half is, although
a certain number of dirty four-letter
words spring to mind.
overall theme seems to be "big
and empty rooms surrounded by satellite
rooms that have lighting installed
by vandals." There is (of course)
the requisite RGB, 110% intensity
colored lighting hallways, pools
of obnoxious lava, teleporters that
break up map flow, and nonsensical
weapon placement. All that is pretty
much a given on a Cranky Steve map.
This map goes a bit above and beyond
the normal lava placement though,
as the quad damage and megahealth
are both placed right in the middle
of the fucking lava streams. Now
that's gameplay folks. If you want
to get 100 bonus health points,
you've got to suffer damage points
getting it. Man, that's SO clever!
I'm in awe right now and would probably
be emailing the author to complement
him on his MENSA quality map, however
I'm much too busy seething with
hatred and rage. Cause it's Half
Oh, this was a treat indeed to play.
The sharp corners and tight hallways
guaranteed that whenever you turned
a corner you'd be staring down the
barrel of somebody else's rocket
launcher. Me, I don't prefer strategy
or thinking in these types of games,
I want all my kills to just be a
bunch of big surprises. You know,
because they're Half Satanic and
FACTOR: I guess if you like
square hallways and symmetry, this
map would be a blast. If you're
looking for good gameplay and some
fun fragging, then this map probably
won't be for you. Even if it is
Half Satanic and such.
BOTTOM LINE: Half Satanic, half
moronic, completely boring-ic. Download
this map if you've got nothing better
to do in your life, such as unclog
your shower drain or eat the things
found in your car's ashtray.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to
-10 (painfully terrible). Total
score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the
worst piece of shit you'll ever