to my hut. I got a two-year
old to wallpaper the place.
hard to pick up ESPN in here.
Maybe the green is interfering
with the signal.
writhe in pain all over the place
in this technicolor nightmare.
"Huts". They're "huts",
I guess. That's about it.
MAP: "Huts" seems
to be some sort of backlash against
the competent Quake mapping community.
Inside this one bigass square block,
there's a series of smaller "huts",
which are rectangular, fullbright
rooms. The constant theme in the
map, besides the obvious "our
revolving-door prison system just
doesn't work" is "a million
insane grunts in pain". Everywhere
you step is another grunt, bent
over and reeling in pain, from either
the colored lighting, claustrophobic
layout, train wreck of pre-fab satellite
dishes, or just the general pointlessness
of the map. Like many other maps
I have reviewed, texturing doesn't
seem to be one of the mapper's main
skills, ranking up there with being
able properly light a level and
getting through an entire day without
jacking off to their parent's newest
Sears catalogue. Not that I'm saying
the map author has a masturbation
problem; he's probably just your
everyday dog molester.
While jumping from rooftop to rooftop
over these "huts", trying
desperately to avoid the insane
grunt army, I was often reminded
how precious life is, and how we
need to start reflecting on the
positive and beautiful things in
life instead of dwell on the negative.
That said and out of the way, this
map sucks shit so hard it made my
balls shrivel up into my stomach.
placement seems to have been created
by putting all the guns on the back
of a speeding pickup truck and tearing
through the level. They're placed
all over the joint, ensuring even
Ray Charles could pick up an entire
arsenal by simply wandering around
aimlessly. Actually, he'd probably
have the advantage, as he would
be immune to the effects of the
RGB lighting nightmare of this square
fuckfest. Damn blind people, they
get all the breaks.
FACTOR: I would say none, but
that would insult everything the
word "none" stands for.
Instead, I'll make up my own term
/ definition for shitbag maps like
this: "Crankass". This
map is so crankass, it makes me
want to chew glass. Hey, that rhymes.
I should become a rapper, or at
least start getting paid like one.
BOTTOM LINE: "Huts"
isn't really about huts. It's about
poor, pixelated grunts that can't
escape the boxy, neon hell. It's
about weapons that seem to be randomly
growing from the ground. It's about
high r_speeds and chunking that
will make your computer want to
throw up magenta sperm. This map
isn't very fun, and it is only a
map by the most base, technical
definition of the word.
didn't enjoy this map.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to
-10 (painfully terrible). Total
score goes from 0 (ok) to -50 (the
worst piece of shit you'll ever