itching, the swelling,
the irritation - don't
stay too long in the hemorrhoid
is a map for Quake 2. There
are weapons on it. There is
a bridge and some trees. Hoo-fucking-ray.
When thinking about "Outside
the Complex", many emotions
and feelings come to mind, much
like the time I sat on a gummy
bear at the movie theater. It
is hard to accurately describe
a deathmatch in this map without
using the terms "uninteresting"
and "plain." As mentioned
above, this map has a tree,
some ground, a nice little bridge,
and a "complex", which
the author apparently uses to
describe "a room with three
crates." According to the
file, this map took "a
2 weeks or so" to complete,
which actually makes perfect
sense as the author says later
on that he used a Cyrix processor
based computer to compile it.
I can only assume that the actual
map took an hour to build and
other 13 days were compiling
time, as Cyrix processors tend
to transmit data via tiny vaccuum
MAP: The map is basically
a big square with a center.
You can go outside the complex
and marvel at the lack of any
shading. Or you can go inside
the complex and marvel at the
lack of shading from there.
There are some prefab trees
scattered around the map that
resemble tall mushrooms. If
you're really crafty and sneaky,
you can swim below the bridge
and go to the super secret red
room that has a railgun and
a teleporter. The teleporter
whisks you away to another magic
room that has a quad damage
and blue lighting. That's about
the end of the dynamic lighting,
as you teleport from there back
to the bridge again. Oh well,
it was an exciting journey while
entire outdoor area is composed
of a single repeated texture
on flat, boring walls. A few
of these walls are at an angle,
and the sheer thrill I had when
seeing those walls was indescribable.
I almost creamed myself.
Well, it's small. That's a good
thing, I guess. Since the ground
is all flat, plain, and boring,
it's easier to fight people.
The author apparently came from
the old school of thought that
dictates "having more than
10 surfaces in one room is unacceptible."
Or maybe he wanted to make a
map his Cyrix processor could
handle, who knows.
is an ok deathmatch map to tutor
other people on Quake 2's commands,
or to teach your eight year-old
niece to play Quake 2 on. Beyond
that, I can't really think of
a reason you'd like to play
this, except maybe for the really
FACTOR: This map could be
very fun if you drink about
two six-packs before you give
it a try. Anything less than
that will cause extreme boredom.
BOTTOM LINE: If a terrorist
holds a gun to your head and
demands you download this and
play it, I would first ask the
terrorist how good his aim was.
ratings go from 0 (bearable)
to -10 (painfully terrible).
Total score goes from 0 (ok)
to -50 (the worst piece of shit
you'll ever play).