Out of the dark... behind the shadows... from the depths of the human soul comes GOTHIC MOPHEAD! He's got a message for you!

GOTHIC MOPHEAD - "Welcome to my sorrows!"

This kid's got a show on the public access channel, KYAC, channel 86 at 3:00 am. I haven't seen it but heard it involves a lot of bestiality.

Ugly woman #1 - "Hey, who ordered the male stripper?"

Ugly woman #2 - "Forget the male stripper, who the hell is this freak in the leopard underwear?"

Ugly woman #1 - "Oh, that is Al Dealoner. He fell off his bike when he was a kid and he's been fucked up ever since."

Ugly woman #2 - "Oh yes, I've heard of him. He drinks his own pee. By the way, the Hello Kitty crap on your shirt makes you look like cheap white trash."

Ugly woman #1 - "How very appropriate! Now fill up these cups with your special surprise, Al!"

Trailer Park Inventory Check:

In one hand: a stick.

In the other hand: a Twinkie.

Behind him: something fat and stupid.