"These fabulous glasses I invented allow me to see through time! For example, I seem to be in the 1960's right now!"

I am not going to even bother commenting on this. Instead, I will go out and shoot myself. I would advise you do the same.

The Space Vikings have traveled millions of miles! They come for Polydent! No drug store is safe!

"We are the Starbucks tough guys! We protect cream mocha latte blends!"

Agh! What a horribly frightening Halloween display! That should keep all those obnoxious trick or treaters away. Nice mask on the thing in the back.

I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED BY MY DARK OVERLORD!!!

SURPRISE! My fists make housecalls, you flaming simp!