series of intricate planks go from building
to building. Parking on roofs is optional
but highly recommended.
guy. He tried to escape but the big, brown,
shit log of a building blocked him.
shitty Action Quake map that uses a boatload of
prefabs, fullbright lights, and misaligned textures
which isn't "Bank
Job"? Can this be true?
Ready to go downtown? Let's take a look at the
incredible text file:
This is my BEST map so far!!!!!! It is very good
for DM (2 or more players)."
this is the author's "BEST" map so far,
I'd hate to see his previous failed attempts to
mold a pound of rancid feces into one Quake 2
level. I would guess the maps he made before this
had themes such as "Lava Suppository",
"One Big Fucking Pit With Ammo", and
"Hey Look, It's Acid!" He claims this
map is very good for DM, but I hope to God he's
not using "DM" to abbreviate for "DeathMatch".
What could it possibly stand for, "Dying
Mothers"? "Drunk Men"? "Damn
Morons" would be my best guess.
took me almost 2 weeks to make this map, im not
one of theose F@#Kers who dont spend a day on
the map." Yeah, you're one of the fuckers
who spend two weeks on a map that ends up looking
like it took two hours to make. Gee, that's something
to brag about.
hard part was choosing the textures for the buldings
and bridges." You chose wrong.
some one tell me why my color lightning doesnt
work?" Because you're an idiot.
just have to wait for Downtown2, its going to
be the best map ever!!!!!!!" Downtown2
will probably take forever for this talented mapper
to create, as it's harder to make maps by only
using one hand.
MAP: There's some gigantic boxes which we'll
tentatively call "buildings" on this
map. There's some prefab cars, helicopters, and
a yellow lump of rotting banana which is supposedly
a bus. The author took some creative liberty with
this bus though, as it's been stretched out to
disgusting proportions (must've taken him at least
six seconds to figure out how to do that in the
map editor). And oh, it works so well! I guess
what I mean to say is, it perfectly matches the
sheer diaherria-inspired awfulness of its surroundings.
realistic. A plank orgy, oh boy.
aspects of this map even approach the most liberal
usage of the word "fun". And, since
it's a shitty Action Quake map, it doesn't even
look vaguely realistic. This level is probably
what a retarded 8-year old would think is an accurate
representation of a city, if it were enclosed
in a shoebox and had to have a gigantic billboard
of John Carmack with a lava spike in his head.
I'm not insinuating the author is a brain dead
8-year old though, he's probably at least 10.
Oh wait, we're talking about age, not IQ, nevermind.
touched on before, cars, helicopters, and bus
prefabs are tossed all over the map at random.
There's cars on roofs. There's cars in
roofs. There's floating lava arrows that point
in random directions for no readily apparent reason.
It's fullbright. Even thinking about possibly
imagining the texturing in this map makes my brain
instantly hemorrhage, which is a more pleasant
feeling than actually playing this mess.
It was bad, but not all that bad. Running from
plank to plank across buildings was the epitome
of lameness, but the blatant awfulness of this
map made up for it. If you want some awful map
to play on your next LAN party (and you don't
mind losing all your friends in the process),
I would recommend this one. Of course, this recommendation
is kind of like saying "I would advise being
ripped apart by wild wolves than being burned
to death in an incinerator."
FACTOR: It's so terrible, it's kind of funny.
It's kind of like driving down the highway and
seeing a car wreck. Full of clowns. With lava
spikes in their heads.
BOTTOM LINE: Look at the fucking screenshots
and decide for yourselves.
ratings go from 0 (bearable) to -10 (painfully
terrible). Total score goes from 0 (ok) to -50
(the worst piece of shit you'll ever play)