LARA VERTIGO, submitted by Emre. Okay, now I'll be the first to admit that I don't have any idea what fuels the Lara Croft phenomenon. Knowing that people actively masturbate to a set of orange-tinted polygons ranks up there with Pauly Shore films in terms of "intense pity." "Lara Vertigo" takes the Lara Croft obsession to dangerous new plateaus, offering the insanity in both English AND Italian, which is the language of both love and psychotic obsession with pixels.
A metallic clic, a furtive look towards the door, a little pressure on the cover, a shifting of two zips..."It' s opened, it' s opened at last.... Oh God, my God..."
A button to push, a light and worrying shaking inside the box followed by a sudden buzz, a blink of the eyes to compensate for the bright, dazzling light coming out in the dark of the little cell and then the computer screen was brought on line."Tomb Raider XII. Adventures of Lara Croft,"... whispered Lucas every time he opened the small notebook.
If this remarkably un-erotic George Lucas / Lara Croft fan fiction doesn't do it for you, make sure to feast your eyes upon the Lara Croft photo gallery, which is neither a gallery nor does it contain photos. Let me leave you with the following deep and touching words:
Lara is a star of our time. And for the first time in the history of the Glamour she is a star that whoever with a program of computer graphics can modify, to improve, and finally to strip...
Our civilization has finally hit the apex, folks. When you can make computer generated women strip, you know that you've safely landed on the top.
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.