The Deadliest Snake In The Wild West
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
A Recap Of Every DOTA 2 International Match
The International is here, cramming roughly twelve thousand hours of DOTA 2 into one week. That's a lot to keep up with! If you miss out on anything just refer to this recap, which describes every match in the tournament.
Martin Shkreli May Be A Human Sneer, But These Courtroom Sketches Are Unflattering
On the charge of possessing a face that cannot be depicted as belonging to a relatable human being, we the jury find the defendant guilty.
What Is THREADRIPPER?
THREADRIPPER is, in one sense, a computer processor made by AMD. In a broader, metaphysical sense it RIPS THREADS.
Legend On Legend: Solid Snake Interviews Mario
Solid Snake: "How did they get your password?" Mario: "Ah spaghetti... ah ravioli..."
Watch Me Fix The 'Assassin In Love' Movie Poster
Honestly, the Assassin In Love poster is nearly perfect to begin with. It just needs a few minor tweaks.
My Eyes Are The Windows 10 To My Soul
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Better(?) Magazine Ads For Classic Games
Seize the mean beans of production with Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine! SEGA!
A Scant Few of The Many Foes I Have Pummeled In Your Realm
It is for honor and sacred oathkeeping that I traverse the linked realms, pummeling the mightiest warriors from all clans.
I Made A Cheap Arcade Stick! And Mistakes!
If I built a functioning arcade stick for less than fifty bucks, you could make a nicer one in half the time and sustain fewer life-threatening injuries.
The Diablo 3 Necromancer DLC: Time For A Skeleton Key Party
Today you can slap down fifteen bucks for Diablo 3's new class, the Diablo 2 Necromancer. How does this character rate in the SMPDSI (Skeletal Minion Per Dollar Spent Index)? Let's find out!
Sponsored Links 10: The Tennening
Around the web and back again to you, the lord of the webrings.
The Totally Sane, Healthy World of IMDB User Lists
IMDB user lists can be used to rank film buffs' favorite movies and creators. 90% of these lists have names like "My Harem" and "Far East Pleasures Karma Sutra Women of Beauty"
EXCLUSIVE E3 MEGATON REPORT: I Bought Rage and Got Rage With Sewers
The simple fact is, I have Rage with Sewers. Dwelling on the divine purpose behind this fact would be a waste of time. Sewers cannot be undone.
Fighting Game Quips As Movie Subtitles: Round Three... Begin! (Part 3)
"You're weak, creepy, and pesty. Consider euthanasia! Ha ha"
According To Tolstoy, All Great Literature Is One Of Twenty Two Stories
The marginally notable writer Leo Tolstoy once said: "All great literature is one of two stories; a man goes on a journey or a stranger comes to town." Well, almost. That quote is in fact an abridged version of a much longer quote. According to Tolstoy, all great literature is actually one of twenty two stories. These are the other twenty.
Know Your Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Skills
Channel the instincts of a dire bear to scratch your back on the trunk of a skull tree
Replacing More Movie Subtitles With Fighting Game Quips (Part 2)
"My Dance of Healing will mend your wounds. It takes two days, though."
What Are All Those Medals On Sheriff David Clarke's Costume?
Nightwatch Brigade Insignia: Awarded for hiding in a coat closet and watching God's Not Dead, God's Not Dead 2, and Last Man Standing on a 1980s-era portable tv every night instead of sleeping
Playerunknown's Battlegrounds: How To Finish In The Top 100 Nearly Every Time!
100 players squirt out of a cargo plane's butthole then scavenge and fight until one person remains. If you want to finish in the Top 100, follow these hot tips from top gamers.
Fighting Game Quips Make All Movies Better (Part 1)
When video game fighters lay down a challenge, they blurt out supposedly badass lines of dialog. These quips just happen to work much better as subtitles for random movies.
Welcome to Don't University: Take Your Free Introductory Lesson Today!
Want to be a Freelance Bomb Disarmer? YouTube Topiary Critic? Horseback Dynamite Tosser? We'll show you how by telling you everything about the job you don't need to know!
President Trump Compliments Video Game Villains
He praises Putin, deifies Duterte, and has nothing but nice things to say about any dictator or war criminal that comes up in conversation. So what does the president think about some of the most evil video game villains of all time?
Morrowind Came Out 15 Years Ago This Week! Let's Relive The Authentic Experience
Meet Jiub, a more relatable character than anyone in Oblivion, Skyrim, or Fallout 4. He has like three lines of dialog and I would die for him in real life without hesitation.
Dialog From The Worst Episode of The Walking Dead
"Don't you get it? What we have to understand is it's them or us. It can't be all of us, or one. It's got to be us, or they become it. Then we lose what makes us we."
Real Life Skills We Learn By Playing Video Games
After inserting quarters and getting swollen joystick thumbs for years, have video game junkies learned anything of value? As a matter of fact, they have!
If It Weren't For These Amateurish Mistakes, Alien Would Be A Classic Movie
No attempt is made to hide the fact that Ripley is the actress Sigourney Weaver. No bandit mask, no hiding her face behind strategically placed palm fronds, etc.
Sponsored Links: Very Hot Games For Men With Boners Only! (Part 9)
Exotic Worlds Are Waiting On The Other Side Of The Screen - Never Be Lonely Again!
From Odyssey to the Switch: The Definitive History of Video Game Consoles
I have all the respect in the world for the fantastic people who host Retronauts, but they are rubes and their hard-earned success should be mine.
Owner's Manual For The 2017 Error Tablet
Included in the box: Error Tablet (1), USB 3/C/Firewire/Ouya Charging Cable (1), Genuine One-Of-A-Kind Pete Harshnish Rookie Card (3)
Mass Effect: Andromeda's Missing Paragon/Renegade Choices
Mass Effect: Andromeda turns its nose up at the original trilogy's rigid morality. It boasts a more nuanced and intellectually compelling shades-of-grey approach in which a heart icon pops up when it's time to tell an alien to take their clothes off.
Video Game Headlines In 2017
Exploring Inequality In Trump's America Through The Lens Of Horizon: Zero Dawn's Melee Attack
SHADOW RUN, Featuring Michael Caine
"For all my education, accomplishments, and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own datajack."
Perusing Prime Video's Padded Volumes Part V (Well, Part II)
Paranormal Documetary's and Five Night's At Freddy's Let's Play's... and that's ju'st the icing on the cake!'
Tech Lab On a Budget Presents: Nintendo Switch Stress Test
Like Digital Foundry, iFixit, or an idiot on YouTube awkwardly reading a script while poking at hardware with a boxcutter he's holding the wrong way, I am a hardware expert. Unlike them, I have no money and no access to free review units.
Perusing Prime Video's Padded Volumes
Amazon's Prime video service boasts a library of over 30,000 tv shows and movies. That sure does sound impressive, but for every Green Room or season of Hannibal there are a thousand YouTube-ish Minecraft ASMR Lego reviews. These are the Prime videos that will never appear on the splash page.
What If VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS Starred In Classic Movies???
Doom Guy as Luke Skywalker: Uh! Uh uh uh uh uh! (strafing against a wall)
Conan Exiles Is My First Early Access Survival Game, and I'm the Best at These Things
I have no experience with early access survival games. No holding people at gunpoint, demanding they hand over a can of beans and their underwear. No rummaging through drawers in abandoned buildings for dinosaur eggs.
Meet Prombles, State Og's New Smart Speaker
In the coming days Prombles will completely revolutionize the way we think about useless household devices. With less expensive alternatives like Amazon's Echo and Google Home already on the market, what can our smart speaker offer you, the customer?
If This Offends You...
A true patriot has exactly seven t-shirts, with seven slight variations on a single phrase that tell one powerful story. This is that tale.
How to Hide All Your Illegal Video Game Files
Create a folder on your desktop named Illegal Files. For the purposes of this tutorial, I will assume that you're running Windows 95.
Recommended Links From Around the Web (Part 8)
Only the most relevant and fascinating links, tailored to your interests. Powered by Toolabrain.
The True Cost of a Nintendo Switch, How to Play Hearthstone Like Me
Joy Con Controllers (pair, left and right Joy Con) - $79 Joy Con Controller (left or right) - $49 Joy Con Contr (half of a left or right controller) - $59
Prestigious Cinema Institute Presents: The Greatest Bathroom-Related Films of All Time
The Remains of Bidet (James Ivory, 1993)
If The Dead Zone Happened In Real Life
Stillson's Controversial Actions During Assassination Attempt Draw Some Criticism
Why You Should Play Video Games: An Argument Based Entirely Upon Patent Drawings
Players of all types are welcome, whether they have three heads, a dive mask, no body, or they're two dimensional
Parental Warning: NES Classic Edition
It's the most sought-after toy on the market, but is the NES Mini Classic acceptable for kids? Our experts emphatically say no. All 30 of the system's included games feature scenes that are completely inappropriate for children.
Perfect Insults to Annihilate Fantasy Creatures You Encounter in Everyday Life
"Hey jackass! Here's a free tip: When you donate a bunch of new toys to charity, take the store tags off!"
Know Your Lord of the Rings Online Skills (Part 6)
I assume that our entire audience is currently installing 2007's Lord of the Rings Online for the first time. These are the buttons you should press to win!
The Sponsoredest Links U Know (Part 7)
Say good riddance to 2016 and hello to an even worse 2017 with one last batch of sponsored links - custom tailored for our readers' interests!
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