Step One: Salvage a ridiculous chair from a race car or a fighter jet. Now it will support your ridiculous body as you play a virtual card game.
The first dimension is paper, laid flat. No folds or creases. The second dimension is a stick figure drawn on the first dimension. The third dimension is everything that can be observed in our universe with a 3D tv. The fourth dimension is purely theoretical and located somewhere in either the space-time continuum or Canada.
A body lies in a warehouse storing skeletons, devil masks, broken dolls, Satanic pentagram stencils, inexpertly stuffed dead animals, out of tune music boxes, and flickering light bulbs. The corpse has been mangled, its intestines pulled out to spell "Spooky Force" on the ground.
In Deus Ex some people get implants to jump higher, punch through walls, or crawl through air ducts with superhuman finesse, while others use their augs to mindlessly walk back and forth along a set path in downtown Future Detroit without deviating or getting tired.
Geralt breaks his ankles when he steps down from a height of more than three inches. If he were to hop over a waist-high fence his body would reach terminal velocity, exploding into paste and white stubble when it came into contact with the soft grass on the other side.
Now, inexplicably, season three is looming over us like some sort of dome. Season one's plot asked whether or not the town could get out from under the dome. Apparently the answer was "no". Season two asked "I guess we're really stuck, huh?" and the answer was "yup".
There's a Brainiac. He's not THE Brainiac. However, he's one aspect of Brainiac. Or maybe there's supposed to be a different Brainiac in every universe and they're all cosmically connected, presumably via their brains. Either way, I think this particular Brainiac is the boss Brainiac.
If you die, navigate to a save file and choose to load it. Voila! Now you're back in the game. This is known as Witcher magic, an innovative feature unique to the series.
Activision and developer Robomodo (creators of the critically acknowledged Tony Hawk Ride and Tony Hawk Shred as well as the technically functional Tony Hawk HD) are proud to announce Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 for the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One.
As the release of No Man's Sky inches closer, we still don't know much about what it actually is or how the player will interact with any of it. If these newly-leaked button layouts for the Playstation 4 version are any indication, the game might just be everything you wished for after all.
Want to take part in our much-publicized trade in program to swap an old tablet or video game for in-store credit? Great! We just need your license, home phone number, email address, work number, and your fingerprints. We might even take a mugshot of you.
When I begin a new RPG I like to take my sweet time absorbing the details. Every stat description is carefully read. "Ah, yes," I declare as I thoughtfully rub my chin, "it seems that having more Dexterity will allow me to swing an axe faster."
You ask how his day went and he responds, "Fine." Or, you ask what he's up to and he says, "Nothing."
Brock Lesnar was a successful UFC fighter, but a serious illness ate half his guts so he decided to retire from mixed martial arts and take things easy by slamming 300 pound men through tables. When he gets pumped up he does this victory/rage roar that sounds like a little baby bird bumping its knee on a tiny coffee table.
Emma Stone was the most paranoid person I had ever met. In private she wore a full suit of medieval armor at all times, visor down.
Combat is relatively straightforward. You target an enemy. You wait for your men to get a targeting solution. You tell them to fire. You slam the boat into reverse and repeat your curse word of choice, realizing you've just shot a living iceberg that is going to eat you.
To start the windshield wipers I bet you have to put two fingers against the glass and swipe. This is a reference to touchscreens.
How will the sixteen hours of motion captured sex present themselves in The Witcher 3? Why did it take Eurogamer so long to see the light and ditch their scoring method and swipe our One Sentence Reviews?
A familiar silhouette steps into the outline of a too-large moon. In his trademark raspy growl, Link mutters "Sometimes I don't even know what I'm fighting for."
Most people take a hands-on approach to their lives. I prefer to observe mine from a respectful distance. From this vantage point I've noticed some worrying behavior. This might shatter the mental image that you've built up, but I'm beginning to think I might be a big dumb idiot.
A new game has mixed or only slightly positive reviews, and as an idiot you feel personally invested in its success. You decide to convince other people on the internet to buy this game. Here's how you go about doing that.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
If you live in north America or Europe, the New Nintendo 3DS (not to be confused with the Nintendo 3DS, Nintendo 2DS, Nintendo 3DS U, or Nokia N-Gage) will not come with an AC adapter. I'm pretty sure that means you won't be able to charge the internal battery unless you rub the system against a power outlet for a few days and hope for the best.
I heard you have a new baby at home. This must be such an exciting, emotional time for you. I have to ask, though, what is a baby?
Jupiter Ascending asks: What if one of the lesser Star Wars movies had the visual design of the Underworld series?
The new widescreen HD remaster of The Wire sounded like a safe bet, given series creator David Simon's close involvement with the conversion. Did you catch last weekend's marathon? Some of the changes struck me as odd, but I want to run them by you guys to make sure I'm not overreacting.
The game feature multiple twisted, sadistic shooting spree locations including: a hospital, a helpless baby and puppy storage facility, and ice world.
Technically a collection of four Halo games and their multiplayer components, The Master Chief Collection is in fact a menu that presents several buttons and submenus, each containing a fabulous array of errors and lock-ups.
The first Matrix film didn't expand my worldview. It established my worldview. The Matrix introduced concepts I had never thought about before: Reality, computers, religion, social issues.
gee, sun, thanks for life and warmth and light. you totally did it on purpose and aren't just a stupid exploding deathtrap
Gaming laptops cost thirty times as much as similarly performing desktops. You can't upgrade them because their cases are locked and only Prickly Pete has the key. They tend to be less portable than regular laptops, weighing anywhere between fifteen and eighty pounds. Buying a gaming laptop is a terrific idea.
Internet bullies have been ganging up on Assassin's Creed: Unity, claiming it's full of glitches. You might have seen a few screenshots that looked a little weird out of context.