It's my first night as a guard here at Plot Point Manor, but I can already tell this is going to be a sweet gig.
Flappy Bird may be gone, but Blinky Fish promises to offer just as much quality and depth of gameplay.
Lara Croft's breasts aren't mega enormous any more. No big boobs, no misogyny. They are the canaries of the industry's coal mine.
The lead designer of Red Dead Redemption. A combat system that's reminiscent of the Batman Arkham games, but with rune-covered swords and orcs drenched in lumpy spitoon juice.
Mark my words. The PlayStation 4 will be the world's first console shaped like a saxophone.
The whole reason for this game and all the conflict within it? There's an evil. Someone should probably stop the evil. I filed a suggestion that it should be the players who get to stop the evil. That seems like a fun thing to do.
Look out, world. Also, hello world. I have single-handedly created the opening minutes of a AAA video game. Imagine what I could accomplish with just a few million dollars.
The latest consoles aren't content with simply resembling PCs. They want to outdo them - by having way more patches.
In the interest of transparency, I am biased in favor of Eldritch. It's true. I'm super corrupt. The game flat out bribed me.
It's legal to download a ROM and play it as much as you want, provided you delete it after 48 hours. If you have a valid doctor's note, however, you can keep the ROM on your hard drive for up to 72 hours.
When the PlayStation 3 launched, Sony was kind of a dick. Intoxicated by the fart vapors of their own success, they exuded arrogance and dismissiveness. "We are the best and this is our next console", the company's executives seemed to say while smoking behind a 7-11 and pushing little kids to the ground.
SteamOS will be free, but it will be adopted at a far greater rate when it goes on a daily sale for 75% off.
A modern space combat sim from the creator of Wing Commander couldn't be more popular if it featured zombies and randomly generated blocks covered in horrible pixel textures.
A video game is a reminder that you should be careful while staring into the abyss, lest you become a monster yourself.
With Gone Home and Divinity: Dragon Commander releasing within days of one another, how are consumers supposed to tell these remarkably similar games apart?
You don't have to read our Shadowrun Returns review with a headjack and high level security access to the matrix, but it can't hurt.
Will The Last Of Us ever be the same without a /dance command? Is The Raven the most pure and enjoyable adventure game of the last decade? You'll never know unless you read on. Or guess correctly.
The Walking Dead's zombies were remodeled as robots for the German release. All the humans? Turned into dogs, and their dialog was re-recorded as barking.
If you're a fan of elbowing people out of this growing medium through acts of selfishness, grossness, and gleeful aggression, this was an awesome month.
What are our plans for this year's E3? Why did anyone think the Deus Ex and Halo tablet games would be a good idea? Why is Gunpoint so refreshing? Why are all these sentences taking the form of questions?
The Wii U may be on the ropes, but Nintendo can take solace in the fact that it isn't the Xbox One.
World Of Warcraft only has 8.3 million subscribers, down from its peak of 12 million. Nine years after its release, it has ashamed everyone by only raking in most of the money in the world every month rather than all of it.
We now know that Microsoft will hold an event to officially announce the next Xbox on May 21st. Well, technically we don't know that for sure. They could be announcing the return of Microsoft Bob.
Defiance is a sci-fi third person RPG shooter with big insects and grubby clothes and ATVs that can be summoned at any time out of thin air, as God intended.
BioShock Infinite has a clear vision, and that vision is brought to life with a world that's an absolute pleasure to gawk at while munching on stolen cotton candy and shaking your head at racists.
The launch of SimCity has been... interesting? Disastrous? Obvious to everyone at the exact moment they found out it was going to require a constant connection to EA's servers? Entirely avoidable? Let's go with interesting.
Get the latest details on Assassin's Creed IV, Eve Online's latest milestone, and say goodbye to 1UP.com.
If you were to claim that Aliens: Colonial Marines was a terrible mess of a game with very few redeeming qualities, I would wonder why you were being so generous
Congratulations to Ben Kuchera of the Penny Arcade Report. When no one was paying attention, he ascended to the throne, assuming his rightful place as the King Of Good Games Journalism. His first act? To call for the ruination of another writer.
Why a clumsy match between AI controlled wrestlers might be the most fun thing you'll watch this week.
It's our first news roundup of the year! Find out what's going on with the Ouya and the PS2, prepare for love in The Old Republic, and marvel at Minecraft's ability to sell a hobbled port of a three year old game to a shitload of people.
The daring Nintendo robbery, Dark Souls II may or may not be for babies, The War Z guys are jerks that you should not give money to, and Forbes discovers the most amazing Kickstarter game to date.
We've scooped the competition! Months before anyone else will deliver their verdict, we rate BioShock Infinite in a review based entirely upon the game's cover!
PlanetSide 2 launches, Wii U games get reviewed, and PC gamers who don't use gamepads for third person action games are bad, dumb people.
VGA has been pretty uneven, so instead of mangling one idea in each installment we're going to cover several of the week's biggest news stories and screw them all up in unique ways.
Use the screen to lovingly examine the scalp of every athlete on your team. Tap to increase the zoom level as you pick through each hair follicle. Eat any ticks and grubs that you come across. Now your team is ready for the big game!
Suppose the game had been approached with no regard for the original, every decision reached by appealing to the broadest audience possible. What would that have looked like?
If it's inevitable that comparisons will be made between Torchlight II and the Diablo series once again, I might as well give it a shot: This is what Diablo 3 could have been if Blizzard had focused on fun just a little bit more.
Strutting into the cozy shop, the hero flashed an insincere smile and sighed. He shook his head while surveying the shelves that had been meticulously stocked. Gingerly plucking one item up with two fingers as if it was a poison-covered bugbear turd, he turned to the shopkeeper.
The best part of Pizza 3000 is that it almost tastes like pizza and can be concealed under pretty much any hat when folded.
Guild Wars 2 is almost here, and from what I've been able to play it seems like something special. The game feels very different, not only compared to the original Guild Wars, but in relation to pretty much every MMO out there. What sets it apart?
When butterflies in Skyrim can pass the Turing Test, I will be happy. I guess this might be more involved than a normal mod so you should probably have experience with html.
Big Guy Mushroom - Makes you a big guy. Being bigger makes you more of a target. Avoid this power-up at all costs.
Day Z is a heck of a thing. With a unique emphasis on survival and the specter of permadeath constantly hanging over your head, a few minutes with this ARMA 2 mod can be more memorable than the entirety of a modern explosion-filled FPS campaign.
As The Old Republic condenses its servers and considers moving toward a free-to-play model, I am going to humbly suggest two changes that would turn the entire game around. There would still be lots of little issues, of course, but these two things would get me to come back to the game for many months to come.
Being told to "Move!" or "Run!" or "Hurry!" down a narrow path which must not be veered from. While all sorts of things happen around you. Things that look like they would be really fun to interact with, if you weren't so busy running and being yelled at.
Sephiroth comes from a machine mom. His mother is so dimly lit and full of rusty pipes that it makes him super sad. This, as far as I can tell, is the extent of his character.
In which I recall the entire story of the Diablo series for your benefit, completely by memory. This will go well.
Sometimes you come to a chapter break in a book or a movie's end credits and you blink, remembering your surroundings. It's very rare for me to lose myself in a video game in such a way. It happened with Grim Fandango, Psychonauts, Portal, the Half-Life games, and now The Walking Dead.
We tend to get caught up with flavor of the month bad guys. Nazis. Zombies. Robots. Non-white people in deserts. From the very beginning, though, the unassuming skeleton man has been there for us.