MOVIES THAT DON'T SUCK

I Sell the Dead (2008)

Just in time for Halloween, we get another low-profile horror flick that doesn't suck, following in the footsteps of Trick 'r Treat and Paranormal Activity. This one shares more with the former, being a morbid adventure film about graverobbers that features Dominic Monaghan (Charlie Pace from Lost), Angus Scrimm (Phantasm I-XII) and Ron Perlman (every fucking movie ever made) as -- get this -- an Irish priest. I Sell the Dead is for anyone who saw Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl and thought, "This movie would be aces if it had some corpse-thieving shenanigans." -Sean "bad movie knight" Hanson

Looking for Eric (2009)

Eric Cantona steps out of the ether to help a postman get his life back on the rails. A superb feel-good comedy from Ken Loach that proves Cantona as the king of cod philosophy, not that anyone had any doubts. -Ian "ProfessorClumsy" Maddison

The Thin Blue Line (1988)

Errol Morris' documentary about the murder of a Dallas police officer is one of his best. The way he weaves interviews, reenactments and music by Philip Glass is hypnotic. It dares you to keep the facts straight, and does a superb job of exposing cracks in the case. Not my favorite of his, but a prime example of Morris' method. -Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade

Utopia, Part 3: The World's Largest Shopping Mall (2009)

With quiet shots of empty escalators, yawning employees and wandering mascots, we are taken on a journey through the results of a failed experiment: To build the world's largest mall in southern China. Having few customers and a handful of stores, the mall sits in its record-sized lot collecting dust. The film is brilliantly shot, and the humor is drawn through the opposition between gluttony and loneliness. There are a few lines of dialogue, but the film functions much more effectively in silence, letting us draw our own conclusions about this empty space. Watch for free here: http://www.pbs.org/pov/utopia -Matt "the" Gronke

ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTORS

Sean "bad movie knight" Hanson is generally content to work behind the scenes as editor, with all the terrible shit these unfortunate goons have to watch. God knows why he ventured out to the multiplex this week.

Matt "the" Gronke owns every Arnold Schwarzenegger film ever made.

Ian "ProfessorClumsy" Maddison is a big gay English teddy bear who likes everything but dental care.

Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade once gave a lecture on the social merits of John Carpenter's They Live. The university still won't return his calls.

– Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade and Sean "Keanu Grieves" Hanson

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