Wargammer Miniatures
New to the Warhammer 40,000 experience? Intimidated by the high cost of miniatures and the hours it takes to assemble and paint even the smallest of armies before you can begin playing the game? Let Wargammer Miniatures help! Our expertly crafted, fully-painted miniatures are excellent substitutes for legitmate Games Workshop products - at a fraction of the price! For instance, why would you pay $22 for this official Necron Tomb Spyder:
When you could have this identical Wargammer Miniatures replica for $21?
Have a look at our newest inventory, and feel free to e-mail us at wargammer@whitehouse.gov with inquiries about upcoming products or injuries sustained while unpacking deliveries.
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Space Marine Captain
This incredible sculpture is so life-like that one glance upon its features will be enough to leave your friends speechless! Perfectly captures that thrilling moment in battle when your captain urges his troops onward with a bellowing "OHHH GOD I'M BUUURRNING!" |
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Imperial Gas Station Attendant
Our most realistic female figure to date - complete with oversized squeegee that's ideal for wiping alien gibs from the grills of Baneblades and Leman Russ Battle Tanks. Includes undersized bicycle helmet for some improved aerodynamic performance, but not too much. |
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Ork Warlord
A savage brute with an unyielding thirst for violence, Mommy's lipstick, and vestibular balance disorders. Keyboard sold separately. Actual human teeth included mandatorily. |
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Necron Igloo
Where do the mysterious, nigh-immortal Necrons rest after they have flayed the skin from the bones of their enemies with ancient gauss cannons? Why, in these festive Necron igloos, of course! Made with the finest holiday wrapping paper available. Only deployable on vaguely uncomfortable futons. |
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Space Marine Dreadnought
Show pride in your army with this pro-painted Dreadnought! Includes some incredible symbology. For instance, that tiny skull and wings design on the miniature's left leg. |
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Chaos Space Marine
The forces of chaos threaten to tear humanity apart, and this corrupted soldier is at the forefront of the attack! A battlefield of baby powder landmines and trick gum aren't enough to slow this Chaos Space Marine down. |
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Impaled Geniuses
Genius comes with a price. For many, that price is an inability to fit t-shirts over their heads and onto their freakish bodies. Heads made from genuine pig genitalia. Please keep away from dogs and cold water. |
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Dayglo Marine
Fighting for the early 1990's... in the 41st century! Complete with spare slap-bracelets and congealed mashed potato base. |
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Stealth Tau Battlesuit
The technologically advanced Tau have uncovered the perfect way to hide the movements of their devastating Battlesuit units... with giant plastic decoys! |
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Tyranid Transport
Move your Tyranid units across the warzone in style with this unique, completely hand-crafted unit that's guaranteed to take second prize in any alien beauty pageant. Made out of 100% gold. The box this miniature comes in, that is. The figure is mostly plutonium. |
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Space Marine
Just an ordinary space marine. Nothing out of the ordinary. Bolster your forces with dozens of these miniatures to give army a human face! |
Special thanks to forum goons 7thBattalion, Broken Loose, Doctor Zero, Ein Windir, Fyrbrand, iSnowman, and The Finn for risking their sanity to dig up these pictures and no thanks at all to the Warhammer thread for convincing me to take up the terrible addiction that is this hobby.
- Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell
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