It seems like there's a new article ranking the rich and powerful every week. Not that that's problematic in itself. If anything there should be more lists demonstrating how far someone can go with little more than ingenuity, hard work, a fully broken system of capitalism, and maybe a wealthy family with connections.
The problem is that these articles tread upon well-worn ground. Top 10 Billionaires in the World? Most Powerful People in Tech? We've seen lists just like these for decades now. Recent features like Best Billionaires Under 40 have attempted to shake things up by getting more specific, but they need to go even further.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
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