Atma, the auteur behind Satan's Choose Your Own Adventure saga, crafted a sequel that focused on a family man named Bob who was guided by input from the creatively sadistic SA Goons! Now Atma's loosely related trilogy comes to a close with "Endtimes.exe," an epic tale that addresses his usual themes (revenge, violence, salvation) and features all the trademarks of his forums-assisted storytelling (character callbacks, religious iconography, graphic depiction of scatological functions)!
> "Go away, I've already heard the good news!"
> SMELL old man.
> Approach man and greet him.
> take both heads from the pole, stick your hands in them to use them as punching gloves,turn to the old man, stare him in the eyes "lets do this" and walk off into the sunset
> ruminate on human mortality
> Tame a crow and use it to scout ahead
Yeah right, dummy. That's not plausible at all. Here's what we do instead:
> Capture crows. Use old man's beard to tie them up, causing old man to achieve flight. Order old man to scout the road ahead.
cock hero flux
> skin a corpse with your teeth
> take skin
> go to barn
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.