Let's Meow Meow!

At a Glance:Have you ever been sleeping late on a Saturday morning and just when you're almost to the part in your dream where Liv Tyler announces you just won a free blowjob your cat pounces on your chest and wakes you up? Sure, all cat owners have that dream. Then, when you sit up bleary-eyed and crabby, do you pick up your cat and fuck it senseless? What cat owner doesn't?! If you've been concerned about your longings for your cat and want to take out those urges on your much-abused genitalia before the SPCA catches wind then "Let's Meow Meow!" is the right title for you. Language: Shrill Japanese audio and English text. Sexual Content: A rabbit/human hybrid masturbates a cat/boy wearing a dress with her foot. Beat that, Vincent Gallo! Available From: J-List!

Cats have a shitty god.Game Concept: The evolution of quasi-human sexuality traces its roots all the way back to Ug-ug B.C. when a perverted human decided to toss a hotdog down the hallway of some hot Neanderthal babe. Since that time the sloped forehead market has been coming up zeroes barring a few congenital birth defects and humans have been forced to branch out into myriad other forms of species straddling intercourse. While painting the guts of your blue ribbon goat with an undercoat of DNA remains pretty rococo this cross-species sexuality has been creeping slowly into the mainstream. I blame Hugh Hefner. The Playboy bunnies did more to set back the efforts of the Humans Only League (of which I am a member and founder) than ten batches of retromutagen ooze could.

While sump gunk like furries, horse players, and walrus fuckers are still shivering at the fringe things like cat girls have become mainstream. Well, in Japan anyway. Here they're still out of bounds for red-blooded cousin-humping mullet-grooming Americans like me. What's a cat girl? It's the middle point between a Playboy bunny with her ears, tail, and human mannerisms and a furry with his sweat soaked mascot suit, cock sheath, and bold misconceptions about the word "frottage". Japanese cat girls have cat ears, sometimes paws, and tails. They also have mostly human mannerisms with a touch of cat behavior that thankfully does not include shitting in gravel and then burying it.

That belatedly brings me to the subject of today's hentai game review; the ridiculously titled cat girl extravaganza "Let's Meow Meow!" In this delightful game you take on the role of Ibuki, a humble Japanese student living alone and obsessed with helping stray cats in his neighborhood. One day after feeding milk to the cats in a nearby park a leering crazy-faced cat god appears before Ibuki and offers to grant him a wish in gratitude for his kindness to cats. Without hesitation Ibuki sets his pervert sights low and aims for a cat girl. The cat god readily agrees and the next day Ibuki returns home from his part time job at a restaurant to find a cat girl waiting for him in a box.

Available soon from Amazon.Just like a regular cat, this cat girl in a box arrives in desperate need of milk. Also like a regular cat she knows that the best place to find it is in a man's penis. I cannot tell you how many times my cat has started meowing and then just all of the sudden started sucking my dick. I am all like "what the heck, cat?" Then my cat is like "mmmmpphhh!" Then I am like "this feels so wrong" and then I try to push my cat away but I am feeble because it feels so good. Then my hot neighbor comes over and explains to my cat how to make the milk come out of my penis. Then I fucking realize that someone sprayed my pillow with LSD and DMSO again and I'm just having another one of my nightmarish hell world hallucinations where the furniture turns into bears that take off their heads and reveal to me by talking in red smoke that trickle down economics are a lie created by the military industrial complex to keep the under class locked in place.

On the other hand, Ibuki's vision of a cat girl being encouraged by his neighbor to gag on dick like she's trying to purge a box of King Dons is anything but hallucinatory. After the cat girl Mikan chugs a half-pint of nutrient-rich crotch cream the fun really begins. Cat girls start appearing almost every day, along with a bunny girl, a cat girl Nazi, and a cat girl robot. Ibuki hardly knows what to do! He's up to his neck in feline trim and like almost every hentai game things devolve into picking which of the ladies he would like to choose.

And what a stellar lineup it is! Let's take a quick look at the "girls" of "Let's Meow Meow!"

Hey, look, it's the one human in the game.Mikan: The first of the cat girls to darken Ibuki's mailbox is this raven-haired temptress. She is the embodiment of the perfect Japanese fantasy girl. She's servile, totally submissive, perpetually cheery, huge-eyed and huge-breasted, and willing to hump without some tiresome drudgery like "romance" or "foreplay". Oh yeah, and she also is partially cat. If only she had a giant penis, then she really would be perfect!

Nanami: The slim and sporty Nanami fills in the requisite role of "girl likely to punch Ibuki" that every hentai game feels compelled to include. Hey, no one ever accused the Japanese of being particularly original. I'm sorry, that's wrong. I am sure there are some very original and creative Japanese people out there who don't work on projects assigned and planned by a committee based on demographic research and tradition. Like…uh…Admiral Yamamoto. Anyway, of the women Ibuki can give the old slippery thumb to Nanami is the only human. She also dons cat ears during sex just in case you forgot you were playing a game with the explicit focus of cat girls.

Hanabi: I guess if I were forced by Al Qaeda to pick a favorite character it would probably be the bunny girl Hanabi. She's some sort of thief and is the outgoing character of the bunch. She's pursued by the Nazi cat girl police (more on that in a second) who are really bad about catching her. She comes with some serious baggage and I don't mean her beach ball sized breasts. She has some sort of blue haired male acolyte cat boy that she dolls up in a dress and then jacks off with her feet. God, I can't believe I said she was my favorite character.

Shinju: The green haired Shinju is a member of the Nazi cat girl police in hot but inept pursuit of Hanabi. I'm not really sure if Shinju is a cat girl or a dog girl, I don't think it really matters unless you're writing some sort of article about a game full of cat girls and…shit. Well, let's say she's a dog girl. I know a lot of dogs with green hair and I don't know any cats with green hair so thanks for clearing up that confusion Japan. Shinju is gun-wielding and serious but not above dressing up in a pink maid's costume and getting humped by Ibuki. So not really that serious, but like stage serious. Like in a Broadway show about AIDS only AIDS is being played by a giant banana that makes duck sounds.

Koboshi: A pink haired cat girl police robot that falls and breaks all the time. She's supposed to be funny. I'm not laughing. Japan, do you hear me?! Do you feel me near you? My favorite part featuring Koboshi is when her chest opens up grotesquely and Ibuki has to fix her only he gets horny while fixing her and has to have sex with her because he saw her insides. Just like any good surgeon he can't close the wound until pounding one out or he'd walk away from the OR with blue balls.

Kohaku: Kohaku is a magical (or extra magical) cat mother goddess thing. You have to have sex with her and her blimp-like bosoms multiple times. She has really hairy armpits and I bet if she were real she would smell like body soil and crusted semen. I also bet that if she were real I would have put a bullet through my neck years ago.

The gameplay in "Let's Meow Meow!" is not particularly noteworthy. It involves making a few nearly arbitrary decisions intermittently and then, once all of the characters have been introduced, selecting which one of the females Ibuki should pursue. It is possible to have sex with all of the characters appearing in the game with the exception of Ibuki's massively busty and human boss at the restaurant. It is also possible to achieve a harem ending in which Ibuki settles down with the entire menagerie, although you would have to possess the inhuman endurance required to play through the game six times.Heil, mein Hund!

I played through the game six times.

The art is slightly above average, although everything but the cat girl gimmick is so generic that saying it's slightly above average is like looking at a beach and saying a grain of sand is slightly bigger than the rest.

Difficulty: The game could not really be much easier than it already is. If you have the patience to sit through it and are smart with the save feature you can cut the time it takes to get all of the endings down to the still-intolerable level of three to four hours. Other than picking girls almost all of the decisions you make seem to be pretty obvious or are a smoke screen that really has no impact on the outcome of the game.

Defining Moment: Finding a cat girl in a box and then having your female neighbor coach her on how to extract milk from testicles seems pretty defining for me. It encapsulates the grandeur of retardate level social interaction with the epic scale of reading a book about fucking animals written by an elephant with a paintbrush. Koko want cookie in butt.

Final Thoughts: Here's the part I hate; I have to say some good things about this game. First and foremost, there was no rape. I enjoy that. Call me crazy, but I actually enjoy a game where I don't rape people. I also find the lack of underage sex fairly pleasurable. You could argue that robot cat cop Kohaku appears to be 12 years old, but after all her chest opens up to reveal a robot control panel. So yeah, she's creepy and all, but there isn't that vibe of "we changed the translation so she is 18 instead of 6" that so many hentai games give off. If you love cat girls, you'd probably be hard pressed to find a game that more totally caters to your fetish than "Let's Meow Meow!" Now get out of my office, you make me sick.

Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst).

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– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)