Time Stripper Mako

The shitty-art chameleon Nonn knocks herself senseless when you first encounter her.Game Plot: Time Stripper Mako is one of the more "innocent" Hentai games I've played, despite the fact that it features multiple sexual assaults. The plot revolves around Shinji who is attending a "no it's really not highschool we swear to god" and has a bit of a breakup with his girlfriend. Heading home dejected after the split he is surprised to find a portal opening above his bed and a naked women falling onto him. Things get off to a rocky start when he gets ridiculously mad at her despite all Hentai logic dictating that he should have at least four appliances jammed into her before she's spoken three sentences. He soon discovers who this strange naked girl is and why she has teleported into his apartment.

She's Mako, from the future, and she's here to keep herself from being removed from reality by a time-traveling jealous associate of her boyfriend who has come to the present day to prevent her from being born. You also discover that her boyfriend is your great-grandson and, get this because it's going to really surprise you like it really surprised the fuck out of me, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM. After this long winded explanation for a cosmic catastrophe that boils down to retarded dating drama you agree to help Mako. The next day you help her out a whole lot by going to work and screwing one of your female co-workers in the cellar of the restaurant you are employed at. After work you encounter the jealous associate who has knocked herself silly with a giant atomic hammer.

Her name is Nonn and upon meeting you her plans to destroy Mako transform into plans to get into your pants and forget about the great-grandson from the future who looks exactly like you. Nonn provides you with ample opportunity to get frisky throughout the game, including an encounter in the cellar hot-spot at work and some hardcore action in your apartment after Mako flees in tears.

The tables have turned, her back's against a wall, she's one step closer to the edge, and she's about to break!Oh, but I believe I am overlooking something. That would be the encounter between Mako and Nonn in which Nonn ties Mako up and threatens her. Mako shoots Nonn with a dart gun, but WHOOPS, looks like she forgot what kind of dart was loaded and shot Nonn with a chemical that makes her clitoris turn into a giant phallus. Not surprisingly mild rape (yes, that's a new term for Japan only) ensues, including a mind-boggling vagina that ejaculates sperm. When you have a foot-long clitoris that looks like a banana and a vagina that shoots reproductive fluid I think you just crossed the line into freaky aquatic invertebrate reproduction territory. Coming soon in Japan: cloacae fetish Hentai porn! She shoots semen, shit, and piss all out of her cloacae! HOT!

In another eye opening sequence you catch your ex-girlfriend having sex with Nonn in the library, and her terrible secret is revealed. No, the giant clitoris is gone, this time you discover that your girlfriend is an android who is filled with white fluid instead of blood. Nonn brutally impales her crotch on a dildo and roughly three gallons of bizarre white android juices pour out over the library carpet. Yes, the mystery blue liquid that coats girl's thighs down to their knees and falls to the ground from their crotches like a waterfall has been upgraded to "a bucket of milk" in Time Stripper Mako.

Soup modeling is where all the girls get their start these days! Hey Kaori, I hope you die in fire.Then there's the soup model. Shinji has some idiotic festival he's booking talent for and the only person who can come to perform is an up-and-coming superstar from a soup commercial named Kaori. When Shinji finds out she will sing, because all would-be singers build their careers by doing soup commercials, he acts like someone finally awarded him his long overdue first-place in being a fucking moron. When you finally get to meet Kaori the experience is breathtaking, for Shinji because he's a fucking moron, and for me because Kaori's face made me want to bury my head in a box full of daggers. You get a chance to humiliate and molest Kaori, but if you take advantage of this opportunity you miss out on an encounter with a classmate that involves putting a dog collar on her, making her urinate on the ground, and having sex.

Towards the very end of the game you finally screw Mako's brains out, unless you were fairly restrained with Nonn in which case you reunite with your girlfriend, screw her brains out and THEN screw Mako's brains out. Neither ending was really in line with what I wanted. I would have preferred Mako and Kaori strung up with piano wire, Nonn with that hammer jammed through her skull, dog girl getting ripped apart by a pack of wild dogs, and the girl from the sex-cellar getting walled in "Cask of Amontillado" style.

I'm sure pleased I played through this game twice so I could see this sequence with Shinji's classmate. SPOILER: it ends with fucking.Gameplay: When I first played Time Stripper Mako I was fairly impressed with the number of choices you made and the fact that there was almost a complete lack of scavenger hunt style gameplay. After finishing the game in about half an hour I fired it up again only to discover that the vast majority of the decisions you make are pretty much staged to seem interactive, but really just lead to the same thing anyway. The exceptions are the decisions you make with Nonn, which don't really branch the plot, they just determine a different ending, and what advice you offer Kaori in the locker room before her show.

I know it takes a whole ten minutes to program and illustrate one of these branching scenes, and then you have to go to all the trouble of hiring some high-pitched shrieking harlot off the street to record dialogue, but do you think you could maybe extend the gameplay past one hour? Wait, what the fuck am I asking, I am GLAD it was over quickly.

The art in the game is some of the most uniformly shitty I've ever seen in a Hentai game, and that's saying a lot. The women frequently look like men, perspectives are terrible and poorly done, and the artists apparently had no rules to work from to ensure character consistency other than "all women have big tits and giant eyes". The worst consistency wise is Nonn, who looks like a different character in every single image of her in the game and that's not even taking into account the fact that she grows a phallus.

Difficulty: Insanely easy. Since there are only a handful of branching plot options you can just about pick events randomly and get the happy ending. Happy meaning that Mako decides she loves you and to stay with you forever even though you're a scumbag who fucks anything with two legs and at least one functioning hole. Come to think of it the Nonn ending is happier. You end up with her instead of Mako, but at least she's the same kind of out of control sex maniac that Shinji is.

Mmmm...android blood! Android vampire Nonn enjoys some delicious girlfriend juice.Defining Moment: The unveiling of the foot-long clitoris. Done in a whimsical cartoony style that transforms the freakish anime girls into wacky Peanuts-quality screaming bigheads, the shitty humor does nothing to conceal the perversion of the sequence. I am curious as to why a "time stripper" like Mako even has a dart gun, let alone one that is loaded with a chemical that turns women into freakish monsters. The giant pool of android blood comes in a close second.

Final Thoughts: Japan, we need to talk. I know you've had years and years to think about dick-girl porn, rape, tentacles, and giant clitorises, I just don't think the conclusion you have reached about it all is the same as the conclusion I have reached. Your conclusion appears to be that these things are all wonderful, erotic, and acceptable forms of entertainment. My conclusion is that all artists responsible for these games, everyone who buys the games, and all the clueless fatheads who e-mail me asking for the games should be herded into Hiroshima. The zombie corpse of Harry S. Truman, re-animated through Voodoo magic, can then re-drop the atomic bomb and turn all of you into shadows on concrete. If only the original atomic bombs had managed to hit only Hentai game designers instead of thousands of innocent, non-crazy non-perverts.