Amy's Fantasies

Game Plot: Amy's Fantasies is a three-part barely interactive Hentai game detailing the fantasies of a high school girl (just turned 18 LOL!) named Emi. Despite this mind-boggling discrepancy, which can only be attributed to a combination of language barrier and severe head trauma, once the game gets going it is a model of consistency. All three stories contain a number of sex acts performed by the same cast of fairly scary characters. In fact in almost every case the same people in each story are having sex with the same people they were having sex with in the previous story. Since they actually did go to the trouble of creating unique images for each scene it seems particularly wasteful. The cast of characters in the game is certainly where Amy's [sic] Fantasies shines. These misanthropes include:

Emi AKA Scary Lion Woman - With a mane fit for the king of the jungle and eyes that can be seen by orbiting astronauts, Scary Lion Woman is the main character. She wants nothing more than to have sex with her brother and maybe give birth to some sort of inbred freakbaby with giant hair like hers and tentacles for lungs.

Titty McHairmonster - The school valedictorian is smuggling two 80 pound bags of Sacrete under her shirt and the only way to offset this added weight it by growing a proportionate mass of hair. Unable to quite grow 160 pounds of hair, good old Titty threw a couple 20 pound ribbons in there to even things out.

The Amazing Hypnotizing Dumbass - She's supposedly the school nurse and the "comedy relief', but since she's roughly as funny as having your kneecaps shot out by IRA heavies I call bullshit and say she's using her obvious mesmeric powers for evil.

Gayee the Magical Faggot Brother - Emi is obsessed with her name-shifting magical brother. He's thin as a dime and has brooding doe-eyes that make me want to push him down in the hallway of the school and steal his monogrammed handkerchief.

Principal Meanbad - While there are a few villains in the game the one that really fits the role perfectly is the white-haired principal. She looks like a teenager but has the narrow eyes that mean "adult" in Hentai games, and everyone knows that in Japan white hair on someone under 1000 years old means evil.

Nice outfit! This young clown fraulein puts the toys down long enough to get bizzay later on.These and a few other characters are cast in three different stories, with their names and even appearances sometimes changing from story to story. The first story centers on what I assume is supposed to be Emi's real life. It features the usual overly complex melodrama of most Hentai games along with the extremely classy theme of Emi wanting to have sex with her brother. Emi ends up having sex with pretty much everyone, including the principal, her brother, her brother's girlfriend, two random boys who rape her and kick her in the stomach - which she naturally enjoys - and some woman who wants to take away the house she and her brother live in. In the second story the action shifts to a hospital setting where Emi has become the new nurse and is searching for her brother, but instead finds a domineering patient with amnesia. It ranks slightly higher on the class-o-meter but still manages to cram in almost as much rape plus a sex scene featuring a little girl in a clown costume. Yes, you unfortunately read that correctly, unless you thought the part about the little girl in the clown costume actually read "this game has redeeming qualities".

I didn't play the third story but since each episode ends with a preview of the next episode I know it involved the same stupid people fucking the same stupid other people with a "maids" theme.

Scary Lion Woman's brother walks in on her just as her plushy fantasies are reaching their climax.Gameplay: The game plays like a very conventional "look and think" Hentai game with a few alternate selections thrown in occasionally in a miserable failure of an attempt to make you feel like you're actually playing a game. The one added bonus of Amy's Fantasies' implementation of this powerful Hentai engine is that from time to time you can actually bypass the whole look and think shitheap by selecting an option that allows you to leave the location. Thankfully the game also sticks to a very linear story, not branching off into the laborious and painful "find someone or something in one of these fifty locations" you run into in Hentai games that try too hard to be something they are not.

The graphics are odd but fairly well done, although in addition to the freakish hair and giant breasts a lot of the women just look like mongoloids when the clothes come off. Some have lower bodies that would make gratingly annoying musician Sisqo say "truck, truck" and then possibly "what, what?" The Japanese have a fixation with supersizing and otherwise modifying women that is thankfully not as fully explored in Hentai gaming as it is in fan art. Seeing breasts the size of small cars is not uncommon in these wonderful pieces of art, and those are the tame ones. There is currently an image circulating on the SA Forums that is known by the nickname "shitting dick nipples". I will now pause to allow your mind to fill in the blanks and add that this nickname is a fairly literal description.

At times the Japanese text displayed on the screen is never translated, which actually added to my enjoyment of the game since I had fun imagining what the text meant.Difficulty: Extremely easy. There are no wrong turns possible in Amy's Fantasies, unless you consider multiple rapes a wrong turn, in which case the whole game is one giant wrong turn into Rapeville. Since the plots are essentially excuses to frame rape vignettes it is fairly annoying that they manage to be confusingly wordy. Although this occasionally leads to some unintentional humor, such as when Scary Lion Woman begins masturbating immediately after spending about ten minutes "thinking" about her deceased father. Oh Lordy, those family memories get me so hot.

Defining Moment: During the first story when Emi, while being raped repeatedly while blindfolded as punishment from the principal, is kicked in the stomach so that her orifices disgorge a large quantity of semen onto the floor of the office. This violence is extremely sudden and contrary to the Hentai-standard "this rape is becoming enjoyable" feel of the rest of the sequence. What's more disturbing is that Emi doesn't miss a beat, not even a cry of pain, she just keeps getting raped like a champ and exploding with orgasms like an orgasm minefield in the path of the Boston Marathon. A close runner up for defining moment is definitely the sex scene featuring the young girl in a clown suit.

If Hentai games are any indication, lesbian rape is reaching epidemic proportions in Japan.Final Thoughts: Amy's Fantasies is an example of a Hentai game with, dare I say it, a good starting concept. If you're going to make an anime sex game what would allow you more freedom to make things interesting than a concept that is just three loosely-connected fantasy stories? Since it's an unwritten law that all Hentai games are by their very nature gratingly boring and as arousing as a picture of your grandma straining to take a huge dump, Amy's Fantasies destroys any potential this concept had. Instead we get the same mind-numbing interface, lifeless fantasies filled with idiotic melodrama and unfunny comedy used to provide an excuse for violent rape, and the ever-popular incest.

If I had made this game the first story would have been about a female astronaut who has sex with a robot on a spaceship in order to keep it from killing the ship's cargo of lusty female convicts bound for a space prison. The second story would have been about a female superhero that has to save a sorority from a trash-talking black man with five penises. The third story would have focused on a looped animation of a donkey trying to have sex with a chicken while the underworld theme from Super Mario Brothers plays in the background. Call me any time Hentai game makers, I will breathe life into the genre!