Snow Drop

This flower perfectly captures the game. Dull, unrealistic, and you can't really tell from the picture but it just got done fucking its sister.

Game Plot: In Snowdrop you take on the role of Minoru, a college freshman with a sister who looks to be eight or nine but the game makes very sure that you know is 18 years old. If that's not some classy foreshadowing I don't know what is. The game starts with an embarrassingly poorly planned scene in which your parents hand you money and tell you to go on vacation to a ski resort without them. Having a complete lack of imagination you decide that you will use the money they give you and go ahead and do the whole ski trip thing. Then two "hot" (that's anime hot) chicks appear who are sisters that you've apparently known all your life and they decide to go on the vacation with you. I'm sure your parents planned for that and gave you money for their rooms as well, since the game never explains anything important.

On the way to the ski lodge you get lost in a blizzard in the forest. Yes, you decided to walk through the woods in the middle of winter to see a flower. Like most events in the game this is a segue into talking at length about the event. But you don't just get to talk about the blizzard, oh no! The flower improbability is explained in a gruelingly long flashback that plays out almost exactly like what was originally happening, with Minoru and the three girls lost in a blizzard in the woods. Not surprisingly they talk a lot about being lost in the blizzard in the flashback as well. I would have been confused but I cared so little about what was happening that I managed to look off to the side while I clicked through the Hentai equivalent of War and Peace about the fucking blizzard and flower. The gist of it was that it was some magical love flower called a Snow Drop. It shows a picture of it, some horrible jokes are made and people get solemn for no reason since they tend to do both quite frequently in anime and hentai, and then you arrive at the ski resort.

After meeting the owner (naturally a buxom woman with blue hair) and the creepy maid with the glasses that look like they got chopped in half by a saber (Buxom? Check. Blue hair? Check.), you settle in to your room in the lodge. From there the game breaks down into four days of fun on the slopes and flirting with all of the characters in the game including your sister. I made a single interactive decision that in any game would be considered academic at best. The other interactivity featured in Snow Drop is moving around to the different mountains and their skiing slopes of varying difficulties (more on that later) and ambling around the lodge. As a fun bonus to this gameplay at times when you do something or go somewhere the game doesn't like it takes away the interactivity from you, no doubt "branching the plot" heavily. Because you know deciding to go to the bath house twice in a row will have unexpected consequences three days later like when your dick ends up in someone.

The maid and the lodge owner go at it. Notice her glasses that look like they got attacked by a samurai.The skiing is a fun mini-game though! You have to maneuver your skier on the-hahahaha who am I kidding?! When you "go skiing" you actually just walk around to the different hills and talk about skiing and then the game talks about you skiing and then you finish and talk about how the skiing went. It's really great and by great I of course mean tedious.

As time goes by at the ski lodge you find out more and more about the "Snow Maiden", a mysterious woman who walks the snowy mountain and freezes men by having sex with them. It is not-so-subtly hinted about 5,000 times that the maid is the "Snow Maiden", but you're not allowed to act on this information ever because Minoru doesn't enjoy "doing stuff" he enjoys "talking about stuff". I only played through the game once and got to see my little sister having sex with one of the hot girls, the maid and the lodge owner getting busy, and the maid taking a shower.

Just like Water Closet this game has a fairly epic CG library that fills up as you unlock scenes. After beating the game I noted that many of the character's image libraries were fairly barren so I hopped on the Internet to find out what I was missing. I didn't want to, but I'm a dedicated reviewer of these games and I would feel like I wasn't doing my job if I didn't tell you EXACTLY how shitty and perverse Snow Drop is. It turns out that you can have sex with just about everyone in this game, apparently including your sister. Normally this wouldn't bother me a whole lot, but your sister in this game is the most blatantly underage character I've seen in a Hentai game. I mean, usually when they have underage characters in Hentai games they at least give them giant breasts to compensate, but even those were horrifyingly small. So if you want to unlock the CG scenes of you screwing your sister in Snow Drop I suggest you not share the directory on file sharing programs or you may be arrested for having child pornography.

This is your sister. Yep, she's 18. I buy it. No, really, I totally believe you Mr. Game.Difficulty: For me this game was extremely difficult, but admittedly for someone who doesn't actually have to read all of the shit spewed out during conversations the game has a fun feature. You can put everything on "super fast forward" and text and images will fly by as fast as your computer can manage until you right click or encounter a plot branch. If you're retarded or a masochist and you absolutely have to play this shit heap, I suggest heavily utilizing this feature. Trust me when I say that not a single important or interesting thing is said during the course of the entire game.

Defining Moment: It would definitely be the part where you fuck your sister had I seen it, but as it stands it's a tie between the part where you see the slutty girl screwing your sister and the part where you see her naked in the hot springs. That is pretty much the core of Hentai right there. Sexualizing something that most people would find fairly abhorrent and giving smarmy excuses about "being of age" and "oh, she was adopted".

Final Thoughts:: Considering that the last game I played from Will's Sweet Basil was the notoriously bad Water Closet, Snow Drop proved to be a pleasant surprise. Keep in mind that it's all relative. Having my chest impaled by a telephone pole would be a pleasant surprise if minutes earlier a giant old woman had shit acid all over my face while a magical eagle plucked my testicles out of my scrotum with a hook-like beak. This game is awful, hideously boring with more inane dialogue than entire season of "Saved By the Bell" and "MTV's Undressed" put together, and underage incest with a girl who has neither a nose nor a mouth. Stay away from it as if it would give you AIDS because you can't envision the horror it will actually prove to be…unless you've played Water Closet.