If Wishers Were Horses, submitted by Mike Dawg. A lot of people like horses. I like horses myself, although they smell funny. I have never wanted to be a horse though, I do not think it would be much fun. Most of a horse's life is spent standing around in a field eating grass. I do not even like grass. And when you are not standing in the rain all day long, people are sitting on your back and making you run around in circles. It sounds like absolute torture to me. Madness. Yet some people would love to be horses. Some people replace their feet with hooves. Some of them even try to turn into horses, even while they are responsible for hundreds of innocent people aboard a train.
At the time I drew this, I was a driver for South West Trains!
I have used South West Trains before, and to be perfectly honest with you this image frightens me. It cannot be safe if the driver turns into a unicorn mid-journey. Can he even use all the levers and dials that I suspect a train driver needs to use? I am disappointed that South West Trains does not have a more rigorous employee screening process. For example, the little question "Are you likely to spontaneously turn into a unicorn?" could go a long way. And it does not end with train drivers. Think who else could turn into unicorns - pilots, surgeons, THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? The threat of sudden and unexpected unicorn-transformation could be greater that that of terrorists, which is why I believe this website is the Al-Qaeda of the Internet. It even offers advice and specific methods on becoming a horse and/or unicorn, ranging from lucid dreaming to DNA manipulation and spontaneous quantum tunneling, which I believe they just made up. Neigh.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.