The Other Pony Club, submitted by me. What the hell?

Once someone has put you into pony role, please do not speak unless essential. Do not use hands to adjust your dress or harness, or do other unpony-like acts, until released. From then on you are answerable to that person only, unless they delegate authority over you. Only they have the right to drive you, discipline you, choose who else may do so. They have the responsibility to provide for your needs, though they may delegate.

No, seriously, what the hell?


Ponies are not paid to put on a show, they do it for fun. They deserve respect for being brave enough. Without them the scene is not possible. So no groping, abuse, etc. please! If you are to drive them, come round to face them and introduce yourself, as a sensible rider does with a real horse. Do not forget to thank them afterwards, with kind words, a pat, stroke, etc. As a check on the behaviour of the people who are not volunteering to go between the shafts we reseve the right to apply a custom from the colonial African Ponygirl clubs. A pony winning an event may choose anyone as pony for a victory lap. Its very rude to refuse.

– Corin Tucker's Stalker (@DennisFarrell)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

Copyright ©2015 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.