The Other Pony Club, submitted by me. What the hell?
Once someone has put you into pony role, please do not speak unless essential. Do not use hands to adjust your dress or harness, or do other unpony-like acts, until released. From then on you are answerable to that person only, unless they delegate authority over you. Only they have the right to drive you, discipline you, choose who else may do so. They have the responsibility to provide for your needs, though they may delegate.
No, seriously, what the hell?
Ponies are not paid to put on a show, they do it for fun. They deserve respect for being brave enough. Without them the scene is not possible. So no groping, abuse, etc. please! If you are to drive them, come round to face them and introduce yourself, as a sensible rider does with a real horse. Do not forget to thank them afterwards, with kind words, a pat, stroke, etc. As a check on the behaviour of the people who are not volunteering to go between the shafts we reseve the right to apply a custom from the colonial African Ponygirl clubs. A pony winning an event may choose anyone as pony for a victory lap. Its very rude to refuse.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
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