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The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.

• 49-Year Old Woman Robs Bank to pay for Dentures.
• Getting out of a dry spot.
• Is it natural to grow out of long friendships or am I being unacommodating?
• Something is wrong with my gun, it blows forward?
• Sony STRDH520 7.1 Channel 3D AV Receiver $169 free shipping
• "Oh God, We're So Fuckin' Retarded" -Ubisoft
• the Lahti L-35 & M/40 9mm Pistols
• 2 for $20 on Valeo 900 Series Ultimate Wiper Blades