100% Legal Online Smoke Shop
Do you need a 21st century online solution for all of your LEGAL smoking needs? We've got all sorts of smoke blends and accessories for discerning customers who are desperate to escape reality but not quite desperate enough to break the law. Our motto is: If you can't find it here, we are sorry!
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Kazzleblau Smoking HerbThe finest smoking herb you'll find anywhere! This premium mixture of all-natural ingredients (soy, moss, pepper, balsa wood chips, chloroform, chopped-up placebo pills) will alter your mind in new and exciting ways. Based on a recipe for gepacho that I saw on Good Eats and tried to replicate purely from memory three years later. Once you go Kazzleblau, you never go kazzleback! Price:
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FG-2011 Fog MachineLive with your parents? Have a nosey roommate? Now you can smoke in peace with the FG-2011 Fog Machine, A.K.A. the Little Dragon. Just plug in, crank up, and enjoy yourself. If someone knocks on your door and asks if you're smoking in there, tell them "No way, man, it's just the fog machine!" Price:
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FleshpipeTired of smoking the old-fashioned way? Pack your tobacco or legal smoking herbs into the Fleshpipe's realistic belly button-shaped opening, then stand it up in a pan of boiling water and enjoy! Also doubles as a thermos for our on-the-go customers who need a sip of their favorite energy drink at the gym or on the basketball court. Price:
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Kazzleblau ZXContains everything that made the original Kazzleblau the finest smoking blend modern science has ever created, now sprinkled with ground meat! May leave a slight aftertaste of bile. If it doesn't, call 911 immediately and ask for Ron. Price:
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X-Ray glassesSee through clothes, classified folders, and even fruit skins with these amazing specs! Each pair of glasses has been hand inspected and is guaranteed to contain a non-lethal amount of X-Radiation. Manufacturer's Note: Please do not wear while operating on patients. Price:
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Deer UrineEnough to last up to 2 weeks! Price:
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Cheech & Chong ScaleHonor the memory of every legal smoking enthusiast's favorite wisecracking funnymen with a pocket-sized digital scale emblazoned with their likeness! Perfect for weighing your deer urine supply nightly, to ensure that no one is stealing from you while you sleep. Accurate to within 3 feet. Price:
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EMF DetectorElectromagnetic Field Detectors measure fluctuations in electromagnetic fields caused by ghosts. The higher the needle goes, the more ghosty an area is. When combined with cold spots, spooky feelings, or the sensation of seeing shadows while in a very dark room, EMF detector readings provide concrete evidence of paranormal activity. Price:
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- Dennis "Corin Tucker's Stalker" Farrell
This Week on Something Awful...
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The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
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Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
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LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
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Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.
Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.
