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The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.

• Weird issue with headlamp
• Tell me about Marine Salvaging.
• Casey Duck: Butter Duck - helping a duck on his quest for his butter
• Moving to Seattle
• Pressure behind one eye, not a headache.
• Eastbound & Down S3: The Picture of Success returns February 19 @ 10 PM, HBO
• NHL GDT 2/12: The #1 seed Rangers face the 9th seed Capitals... wait what?
• Should I be worrying about my sister's marriage?