Senior Living 3: Oldageddon Part I

The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.

• Moving to Seattle
• Dremel 300-2/28 300 Series Variable Speed Rotary Tool Kit for $54.98
• What the Daily Telegraph thinks of copyright
• I hate my body; afraid I'm unlovable.
• Forget to get flowers for your girl? ProFlowers via Amazon has you covered
• Weird issue with headlamp
• NitroSpazzz lifts things and tries not to die
• NCAA attempting to ban onside kicks as we know them