MASTOR THIEVES, submitted by MintiePhresh. A couple of suburban teenagers with identical Shaun White haircuts steal random things and then write about it. Badly. Usually while detailing exactly where they took these items from. With photographs of them alongside the things they stole. After mentioning the city and state they live in. These stories are supposedly humorous, and if you don't think they're funny it's because you just don't get their original and edgy brand of humor.

we discussed washing josh's arm off because it seemed like the best idea, considering the well-being of the general public... so we didnt. we went to IHOP and everyone clearly saw his arm with all the racial slurs and symbol on it. we had some nigger waiter and josh had to repeatedly hide his arm when he came around.

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HEY. I WOULD'VE FUCKING HANGED JESUS IF THOSE FUCKING JEWS WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT FIRST. BITCH.

I THREW MY WIFE DOWN THE STAIRS AND HER BABY FUCKING DIED. GOOD. NIGGA.

I HANGED MY NIGGER ON A TREE AND BURNED IT LIKE A CROSS YOU BLACK JESUS.

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Josh is a cunt-eater. he is also a nigger and likes to listen to nigger music. he enjoys long rides on short beaches and also burning his jewish dog while drunk.

See, they're so offensive that they're funny. It works on so many levels!

– Corin Tucker's Stalker

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