ATTENTION! This is the final chapter of Senior Living 3: Oldageddon, part of Something Awful's ongoing series of articles exploring the lives, challenges, and aspirations of America's elderly. It is highly recommended you read the previous chapter before reading this! And while you're at it, check out Senior Living 1 (Part 1 and Part 2) and Senior Living 2 (Part 1 and Part 2).
This is where the excerpt from an article usually goes. Since the content of this update is only intended for cool people, I refuse to place a single word in the path of blundering normal people.
Out here in the Wild West we got some rules for gunfightin', like a pregnant lady ain't gotta be carryin' iron for you to draw on her first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.