ATTENTION! This is the final chapter of Senior Living 3: Oldageddon, part of Something Awful's ongoing series of articles exploring the lives, challenges, and aspirations of America's elderly. It is highly recommended you read the previous chapter before reading this! And while you're at it, check out Senior Living 1 (Part 1 and Part 2) and Senior Living 2 (Part 1 and Part 2).
One wizard thinks our President's magic control initiatives have gone too far.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.