At a Glance: Get in a giant robot and destroy cities, people, tanks, other robots, cars, planes, and any other pixellated objects nearby. Sound cool? It sure did to me! Then I tried to play it.
When I heard Infogrames was sending me a copy of "Slave Zero" to review, I became really thrilled, even more excited than that time I was allowed to visit the petting zoo naked. The CD came in a festively adorned white box with pictures of evil robots all over it, making me totally forget about that other game where you're a robot and smash stuff that came in a similar box. You know, that one game by the company who's claim to fame is "Blood 2". The Slave Zero team has been real strict about distinguishing their game from "the other one", pointing out such stark, contrasting differences as:
1 - You can pick up cars in this game. Oh yeah, and throw them too.
2 - The tanks look kinda different.
3 - They didn't make Blood 2.
Watch out for this robot, he shoots guided missiles and perhaps exploding corn.
So I plopped the CD in, installed it, rebooted, and got ready for some great, robot-smashing action!
Nothing. Black screen. I rebooted the computer and tried again.
After talking with tech support, "Slave Zero" won't run on a computer with a CDROM drive that's not lettered as the "D" drive. Yup, if you have two hard drives or have partitioned your drive, you can't play it. Whee.
I was lucky enough to grab some screenshots from the game, but unfortunately can't give it a real "in-depth" review, as it won't run. Oh well, at least it doesn't look anything like "Shogo" - er, "that other game that actually runs".
You must jump on this building to get the magic burrito powerup.
Check out the polygon count on this monster!
The explosions in "Slave Zero" really shine.
Here's a cool Easter Egg - Walk into this building and check out the hot lesbian orgy!
Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst).
Angry and hopeless Trump voters take heart: there is a man who is out for justice for America.
People can't stop talking about this Donald Trump character. He's said a lot of crude and hateful things over the years, and demonstrated a tremendous lack of judgment, discipline and decency. If you ask me, he's not fit to be our president. In fact, he's not even fit to be mayor of Buffoontown.
Nightmares Fear Factory is BACK, baby!
Something Awful reviews the worst video games out there.