No, not the Golden Globes. Disheveled and bleary-eyed after an all-night tequila binge with his parents, Lowtax has sobered up and posted the first (and probably last) installment of the 2000 Awful Awards, where he takes a look at the best and worst games of the year. Here's some things he learned from one of his top picks, No One Lives Forever:
Which games did Lowtax love? Which did he hate? Boxers or briefs? (Hint: none of the above.) All this and more can be found in the 2000 Awful Awards.
Wonder Dog Strikes Again
Taco The Wonder Dog has been hard at work banging his genetically altered paws against that synthesizer keyboard lately, and has composed a new MP3 for all to enjoy! (Enjoyment not guaranteed.) It's entitled Deus Ex Machina, or maybe Deu Sex Machina, I can't really tell from the filename. In any event, I would assume that it has something to do with Deus Ex, although I have been known to be wrong before. Enjoy!
Ferguson's long arm of the law laments the latest cutback.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.