No, not the Golden Globes. Disheveled and bleary-eyed after an all-night tequila binge with his parents, Lowtax has sobered up and posted the first (and probably last) installment of the 2000 Awful Awards, where he takes a look at the best and worst games of the year. Here's some things he learned from one of his top picks, No One Lives Forever:
Which games did Lowtax love? Which did he hate? Boxers or briefs? (Hint: none of the above.) All this and more can be found in the 2000 Awful Awards.
Wonder Dog Strikes Again
Taco The Wonder Dog has been hard at work banging his genetically altered paws against that synthesizer keyboard lately, and has composed a new MP3 for all to enjoy! (Enjoyment not guaranteed.) It's entitled Deus Ex Machina, or maybe Deu Sex Machina, I can't really tell from the filename. In any event, I would assume that it has something to do with Deus Ex, although I have been known to be wrong before. Enjoy!
The Amazonians value combat prowess and purity of spirit. By wrestling half naked, they pay homage to both virtues by displaying their battle-forged bodies while preserving as much modesty as their society deems necessary. The gelatin in which they wrestle is symbolic of the fluid nature of battle, a concept the Amazonians call ‘akgor-gra.’
Pros: Much more comfortable than my last toilet seat, which was a transparent resin with seashells embedded inside. The outer layer wore off from friction, exposing the sharp jagged edges of the seashells, which were constantly scrapping my backside and causing major cuts and open sores.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.