Webster's defines "havoc" as "great destruction or devastation; ruinous damage." And Spooky Steve can say that Halloween Havoc did exactly that... to his ears! There are so many audio SNAFUs that Spooky Steve nearly stopped taking notes halfway through. Some "highlights":
4:04 - Ghost moaning travels from left to right, then from left to right again. Are we supposed to believe that ghosts can teleport now? I don't think so, Halloween Havoc.
6:37 - Ghoulish voice wishes me a "Happy Halloween" twice. This is supposed to be scary?
12:18 - Monster growling, followed by a cat yowling in pain. Violence against animals is not entertaining. Spooky Steve is appalled.
A complete and total misfire from the people at Creative Entertainment Productions. Spooky Steve tried calling their offices to voice his complaints, but soon discovered they went out of business in 1993. That's what happens when you release shoddy, misproduced albums like Halloween Havoc, and Batman Returns masks coated with lead paint.
When Spooky Steve opened the package firstname.lastname@example.org sent him and took one look at the cover of Sounds of the Night, he could only mutter, "Oh boy." Too often, Spooky Steve has been taken in by flashy cover art only to be disappointed by an album that's about as scary as Leprechaun 3. We all remember Spooky Steve's utter disappointment with 60 Minutes of Halloween Hellraising, a CD with a competent cover, but barely 55 minutes of been-there, done-that haunted house sounds. Well, Spooky Steve is proud to say that Sounds of the Night is as scary as Leprechaun 2, if not more so! In fact, after hearing the galloping sounds of what Spooky Steve presumed to be a headless horseman, it's safe to say that he hasn't been this terrified since nearly breaking his self-made vow of celibacy back in 1998. Needless to say, Spooky Steve will never go back to that Perkins again!
Spooky Steve was pleasantly surprised by last year's Halloween Spooky Sound Effects. But even though it was a serviceable Halloween sound effects album, it lacked a certain something to make it into Spooky Steve's Top 30 of 2008 list. Well, it looks like our Internet petition paid off, because 2009's remastered "Twisted Edition" of Halloween Spooky Sound Effects is a fantastic new reimagining of last year's flawed release. A distinct increase in bass, 20% more crows, and a new extended ending with more door-slamming than you've ever heard in your life--what more can Spooky Steve ask for? Oh, wait--how about no more passive-aggressive letters from Spooky Steve's landlord when he decides to play Halloween Spooky Sound Effects: Twisted Edition at full blast after 10PM? For this, Spooky Steve is docking this album an entire glowing skull. Warning: may be too intense for your Palestinian landlord.
The CEO of Lobstero, makers of the expensive home Lobster System, responds to recent unfavorable headlines about hand-squeezing a lobster out of one of the company's Lobster Packs.
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.