Imagine if the ultimate power gamer in AD&D history met up with the silliest immortal level ideas of Gygaxian excess and decided to create a Monster Manual specifically for ultra-high-level games. The result would be The Immortals Handbook - Epic Bestiary: Volume One, released under the D20 OGL. There is no editor or "reasonable" person saying, "No, that's too much," to author Craig Cochrane. From a monster hierarchy chart that lists the number of Christian Gods (1) to a golem made from a neutron star that can explode planets with a punch attack, nothing is too ridiculous. Which makes the Bestiary's oddly serious tone all the more delightful.
Steve: I am not gonna lie on this one, dude. I am pumped. Epic D&D games don't get enough credit, but there is nothing like a full on god hunter campaign or something.Zack: I understand the appeal of high-level gaming. Everybody wants to be Goku and Darth Vader. I get the appeal of it, but not the reality. I remember a 6th grade campaign into hell to kill Orcus and it was just preposterous. We were not even playing the game right and it was still tedious. I can't imagine how boring correct combat rounds would be at, say, 40th level.
Steve: At a certain point combat does sort of go from "swing a mace" to "use eight different abilities and spells in one turn and attack four times" but a good DM can manage that stuff.
Zack: Fair enough. You're pumped. I'm doubtful. Let's see who is right when this whole thing shakes out.
Steve: Look at that cover, dude! A tornado man ten times bigger than a castle is punching some sort of flame hydra lady.
Zack: The unused storyboards for the battle of Jerusalem in Kingdom of Heaven are wild.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.