We don't review computer hardware often, but when a component arrives at the Something Awful office we like to test it thoroughly. After all, these parts often cost hundreds of dollars. We owe it to our readers to take our time and be absolutely sure before making a recommendation.
This baby has THREE chips on it for good graphics. While it doesn't work with DirectX games, the Voodoo 2 is an absolute beast when it comes to OpenGL, effortlessly running Quake at its highest settings in 800x600 resolution.
On the other hand, this thing doesn't plug into my computer. Its circuits don't match up to any of my PC's holes. I looked all over, and even tried breaking off several protrusions that didn't look necessary.
Due of this, I was never able to test the card with NVIDIA's Dawn demo, the most crucial graphics benchmark of them all.
In spite of this setback, I feel that the Voodoo 2 is a good video card. I look forward to seeing what 3DFX does in the future.
Verdict: Buy It
Given a choice between having the sound in my computer processed or blasted, I'll take blasted every day. That's the kind of guy I am. I want absolutely everything blasted. Sound, fonts, greeting card software, you name it.
Creative is branding this sound card as a gamer , and I can see why. There are people shooting laser guns on the cover. Consider me convinced.
That dedication to gaming really shines in the product itself. It's a flat thing with lots of little bits I don't understand, which is hardcore. This ain't your grandpa's sound card. Sorry gramps, go listen to your MP2s in the retirement home. I'm putting on my shades and blasting enemies. You wouldn't understand, old man.
Unfortunately I can't put the card in my computer. It doesn't go. I even checked the inside of the box and there's already something in there. When I laid the Sound Blaster Live! X-Gamer on top of my computer case and backed away slowly, it didn't seem to enhance the sound in any way.
Verdict: Buy It
All the internal power in the world is meaningless if interacting with your computer doesn't feel good. That's where Logitech's MouseMan 96 comes in.
This mouse is shaped like a hand, so it's ergonomic. The ball is perfectly round so you only need to stop what you're doing and clean it once a week. There's a third button in the middle, which gives you access to a whole new world of actions in your favorite computer games.
More importantly, this baby is wireless. Just plug the receiver into your computer's PS2 port and the mouse will send signals using completely invisible RF waves.
Unforunately, I couldn't hook this mouse up to my computer. There's no PS2 port. I even tried using a pair of pliers to flatten the round bit to fit into a USB port, but I missed and pinched my fingertip really hard.
As innovative as this mouse may be, I cannot in good conscience recommend it to our readers.
Verdict: Buy It
The Remains of Bidet (James Ivory, 1993)
We might find we have more in common than we think if we just stop fighting long enough to combine our bodies into a singular organism.
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