1. There's No "Us" in "Anime"

    There's No "Us" in "Anime"

    The growing conflict between me and Jerry comes to a head as I take a stand for myself and for my anime.

  2. The Animorphosis

    The Animorphosis

    It hurts so bad right now, Jerry. I can feel my face rebuilding itself. My eyes are growing larger, finally able to see the world for what it is. And my chin, Jerry, which you once described as "a hairy scrotum full of ranch dressing and marbles," is now a sharp point. Like a blade.

  3. Anime Hospital

    Anime Hospital

    To be completely honest, Jerry, I was hoping that this medical crisis would spark the fires of reconciliation between us. What better to unite two ideological rivals than something as raw and sobering as a medical crisis? In the words of Legato from Trigun, "The greater the tragedy, the greater the emotional effect."

  4. Anime, Myself, and I

    Anime, Myself, and I

    Why, Jerry, did you have to take pictures of my sweatpants and email them to my girlfriend? I told you that there would be intermittent bleeding while I recover and that there would be a viscous discharge as my inner thighs scab over. I also explained that because of the changes to my anatomy, I would have limited control over my sphincter.

  5. The Reanimated

    The Reanimated

    I was ready to leave anime behind for you, Jerry, but thank God I saw the light! Suddenly I felt like Yukinari being transported to the mystic world of Seiren, and Miharu-chan represented the saving grace that is Japanese animation: the only thing that can touch me without causing pain.

  6. Anime at the Gates

    Anime at the Gates

    I imagine you might try to call in some favors. I imagine the SWAT team right outside, Jerry. They're all out there waiting to bust down the door, swarm in, knock me to the floor, and handcuff my hands behind my back. Then, Jerry, they'll drag me outside as I scream and fight. I'll be screaming your name, Jerry.

  7. My Own Worst Anime

    My Own Worst Anime

    Look, Jerry, you're missing the point. Even if I did block you out intentionally, Jerry, I would have just cause. Living with you is like being trapped in prison with a mad man. Sometimes, Jerry, you look at me with those crazed eyes and I'm not sure whether you're going to rape me or kill me.

  8. Animocracy


    For you see, Jerry, I had a revelation. What came to me was the idea for a perfect utopian society, one where people live according to tenets put forth by the wisest characters from manga and anime. It's better than democracy, Jerry. It's animocracy.

  9. Anime Mine

    Anime Mine

    I had a dream, Jerry. This isn't like all the other dreams about you I've spent hours discussing with my therapist. This one told me it was time to break the silence and finally extend an olive branch. I've hurt you enough. You need me to be your step-brother again

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