Internment Camp Queens Caught Scamming Extra Servings Of Water And Laying Around All Day In Government-Provided Housing
Trying to change history is a terrible mistake. Tearing down all of America's Hitler statues has left us confused about our nation's proud past.
Ask any cowboy and they'll tell you: The deadliest snake in the wild west is Lava-Filled Hole Shaped Exactly Like A Cowboy Silhouette
Garfield is a poison of bigotry on our culture and I have never been more offended on behalf of people than I am right now.
Find a discussion thread or facebook post or whatever where two people are having an argument about a movie or TV show. It's probably game of thrones or some shit. Say to one of them: "Hey is this guy bothering you"
One completely reasonable non-sexist man explains why women shouldn't be tortured by white-collar jobs.
On the charge of possessing a face that cannot be depicted as belonging to a relatable human being, we the jury find the defendant guilty.
This is about facts, Jim, and Sonic's arms aren't blue and the President's mpreg fic is canon.
I knew that constantly imagining myself being interviewed for The New Yorker was vain, but it seemed harmless. Until one day.
THREADRIPPER is, in one sense, a computer processor made by AMD. In a broader, metaphysical sense it RIPS THREADS.
The world doesn't make sense. We taxpayers have to buy breasts for genderbenders while our boys in uniform aren't even allowed to flamethrower anybody.
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
Ernest Cline, writer of Ready Player One, shares his newest poem.
Honestly, the Assassin In Love poster is nearly perfect to begin with. It just needs a few minor tweaks.
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Jeff Foxworthy has awakened to the new flesh to tell some redneck jokes.
Remember, traveling underground in a rickety metal tube full of farts carries its own specific code of conduct.
Another site got the better URL but we're still the best creepypasta wiki on the web. YES they are all about video games.
It is for honor and sacred oathkeeping that I traverse the linked realms, pummeling the mightiest warriors from all clans.
Lenny talks about the difficult experience she had with her miserable piece of crap dog who never thanked her for anything.
It's hard to come up with original and compelling brand stories these days. That's why advertisers should repurpose the tried-and-true stories of classic literature.
If I built a functioning arcade stick for less than fifty bucks, you could make a nicer one in half the time and sustain fewer life-threatening injuries.
In the face of crude, rude behavior, a gentleness rises from the West. It is Gentle Creature Mark and he is listening.
I had to register my complaints while they were still fresh. And while the bark was still fresh and pliable.
Hey Asshole! Yeah, You, Jackass! Want To Know Which Disney Princess You Are, You Piece Of Shit?
Around the web and back again to you, the lord of the webrings.
Our new drone will follow behind you in an extremely friendly manner and capture 4K video of your adventures, your friends, your time in the bathroom, and your heartbeat as you sleep.
IMDB user lists can be used to rank film buffs' favorite movies and creators. 90% of these lists have names like "My Harem" and "Far East Pleasures Karma Sutra Women of Beauty"
It’s time to buy pure commercialized masculinity. But which model is right for you?
Boom! Celebrate girl power in the defense industry with the Wise Girl Statue!
Hey gamers! Looking for the newest, HOTTEST game news direct from this year's E3? Well, look no longer - Something Awful's got you covered!
"You're weak, creepy, and pesty. Consider euthanasia! Ha ha"
Levi Johnston announces his new role at the Department of Justice and his dislike of James Comey.
The marginally notable writer Leo Tolstoy once said: "All great literature is one of two stories; a man goes on a journey or a stranger comes to town." Well, almost. That quote is in fact an abridged version of a much longer quote. According to Tolstoy, all great literature is actually one of twenty two stories. These are the other twenty.
First they invaded our corporate water features, then they overran our golf courses, finally they took our freedom.
Time to re-up your inspiration for the grind and put some biz on the board. You are going to close your deals after you see these.
One brave man discovers drugs aren't as accessible as the media would have you believe.
"Hey, Did You Know This?" Gaming is the internet's premier source for game trivia, way better than those other guys.
"My Dance of Healing will mend your wounds. It takes two days, though."
It is standard procedure for the White House to have a synthetic. But it sometimes malfunctions...
This VR game has become sentient and is killing us one by one. But is it art?
Nightwatch Brigade Insignia: Awarded for hiding in a coat closet and watching God's Not Dead, God's Not Dead 2, and Last Man Standing on a 1980s-era portable tv every night instead of sleeping
Why you honk and how it’s misinterpreted.
Gentle Creature has awakened from his worries. Shhhh. He has gone to visit his gentle cousin who also wants to be President.
Get good at the hottest online murder simulator with our collection of hints.
Hello, I'm the Dilbert guy. You might know me from: Dilbert, the comic strip about an office worker who hates Mondays but loves lasagna, and my 2016 book The Illusion of Thought: 50 Ways I'm Already Inside Your Head, which is now banned from being donated to many second-hand book stores.
A shocking memo from Steve Harvey to his cast and crew has been leaked to the public. You will not believe what he has to say about the giant bird he cares for.
Want to be a Freelance Bomb Disarmer? YouTube Topiary Critic? Horseback Dynamite Tosser? We'll show you how by telling you everything about the job you don't need to know!