Battle Raper 2

At a Glance:After months of nearly identical Hentai games I was almost relieved to get a chance to play "Battle Raper 2." The sequel to 2002's coveted "Least Tasteful Fighting Game Award" winner, Battle Raper 2 keeps all of the inept "battle" from the first game and replaces the "raper" with more of an "inappropriate rubber." Sure, you still get to literally beat the shirts off of women, but gone are the mid-fight tearful blowjobs that touched my heart so deeply in the first "Battle Raper." I haven't seen false advertising as blatant as this in a hentai game title since "Casual Romance Club" turned out to be roughly as romantic as a film strip about how gizzards work. Language: Japanese through and through, but there is plenty of English in the menus to make the game playable without need for a translation. Sexual Content: Hardcore sex with a heavy dose of censorship. Yes, you can see her semen covered face, but god forbid you see a vagina texture!

Good thing we're in the tropics.Game Concept: The first Battle Raper game was a shining example of the sort of video game that would cause Hillary Clinton's head to explode in a welter of gore. It combined violence with the age old sport of trying to get a woman's clothes off using a method that made Rohypnol look like an engraved invitation to disrobe. Once you had kicked and punched the woman's clothes off you could assault her with a variety of grapple attacks that resulted in semi-interactive rape sequences complete with streams of tears. If you managed to win the game playing as one of the female characters you were treated to a high-end CGI sequence of your character being raped by the male last boss. Probably because there was never an English translation of the first game it passed entirely under the radar of diehard anti-videogame politicians.

The first Battle Raper game was a simplistic series of one on one battles that culminated in a showdown between your chosen character and a sinister rapist in a blimp. That's pretty much the way most conventional 3D fighting games work, but Battle Raper 2 has gone all Soul Caliber on us and attempted to turn the Battle Raper franchise into an RPG/Fighter hybrid. This time you play a male character who travels around a deserted tropical island looking for some sort of magical crystals or something. The plot is surely something along those lines, but I don't speak Japanese so I was free to assume that you are out to recover an anthropomorphic hamburger named Tex that just never appears on screen. You are accompanied by a little flying devil girl with a bell tied to her back. As far as I can tell she serves no purpose in the game other than to stretch out all the too-long dialogue sequences.

Aaauugh! Shut up!As you travel to various locations on the island by pointing and clicking icons on a map you encounter one of four different things. You can encounter a zombie that you have to fight (no you can't strip its clothing off) or you can encounter one of the three teams of girls also hunting for Tex the Burger on Mystery Island. The three teams are "Action Team," "Cutie Team," and "Lone Ninja." Action Team consists of a blond girl in medieval armor and a dark-haired girl in some sort of futuristic cheerleading uniform. Cutie Team consists of two ridiculously exaggerated Japanese schoolgirls with huge balls of garish shit on their heads and giant weapons. Lone ninja team is just your usual solitary and mysterious blue-haired and big-breasted ninja girl.

When you encounter one of these teams you have to endure extremely long conversations with them. The first time you meet them you just talk and then go your separate ways. Once you have met Action Team and Cutie Team you can then encounter them again by going to their favorite hangout spot on Burger Mystery Island. This time around you will be able to pick whether or not you want to help this particular team find Tex the Magic Hamburger. If you say yes you will then get to pick which one of the two team members you want to partner up with. I guess the other girl gets kicked to the curb or hauled off by the omnipresent zombies. If you say no you will have the option of letting the lone ninja girl become your partner.

Once you have a partner you can hunt down the opposing team. You get yet another gratingly long conversation and then you get to fight both girls on the team. If you are victorious you will be treated to the first of the game's sexual action sequences.

Lone ninja got littleinthemiddlebutshegotmuchback.Incredibly, Battle Raper 2 does not continue in the proud forced-intercourse tradition of Battle Raper. Gone are the rape grapples and expensive CGI rape scenes. Now you simply knock a female opponent's clothing off and then after a fight, if you were victorious, you get to use some weird healing massage to remove bruises from her. It's sort of like rape in that if you wake her up while you're massaging away the pain she will yell at you and the scene will end. It's kind of cool that the amount of clothing you knocked off in the fight is reflected in these massage sequences, but only in the sense that it's also kind of cool to find out that your malignant breast cancer hasn't metastasized into your bones yet.

After you beat up the enemy team you will fight your partner's ex-teammate who is apparently mad about being cut out of the big time burger prize money. More fighting and massaging follows. If you chose the ninja girl as your teammate you have to fight her for unknown reasons. After your enemies have been vanquished and humiliated sexually you then get to fight some big super zombie who is even more of a pussy than the regular zombies.

The AI of the opponents in the fighting sequences is uniformly horrid but some of the fights are made slightly difficult by the appallingly bad responsiveness of the controls. At times you will press forward and your character on the screen will react several seconds later with all of the alacrity of an obese invalid in a diabetic coma. Once you've realized that the by pressing buttons on the keyboard you are basically mailing a bulk-rate letter to your character you can get the hang of typing up instructions for the entire fight almost immediately and then letting the action unfold several days later. The most effective strategy to defeating your opponents is to repeatedly press one attack button. You can try some attack combos if you feel like it, but there really isn't any reason to actually put effort into the game.

Lookin' good!After using several dozen low kicks to defeat the mega zombie you get another heaping helping of talking followed by - at long fucking last - the game's interactive sex sequences. The character models in Battle Raper 2 have definitely improved over those seen in the first game. You're cheated of a lavishly rendered 3D rape cinematic, but hey, interactive sex is a good replacement, right? Of course not, or I wouldn't have posed that as a question. The interactive sex sequences are ineptly constructed and confusing. You can move girls around and change positions but this seems to require searching the screen for hot spots for several minutes. Even then the hot spots are not always active for unknown reasons. The sex consists of inept "click and rub" as seen in Sexy Beach 2, where it was actually done much more effectively. Each girl has her own setting and at least two sexual positions, but getting her into those positions and making things happen is an entirely different and more frustrating proposal. You might as well try to get a real girl you just met to agree to slide your ghostly translucent penis into her mouth.

Once you have completed the game with a given girl her interactive sex sequence will be saved in the extras portion. The number of girls you successfully massage to health during a play-through determines the number of bonus costumes you will receive for your partner. In the "edit mode" you can dress up the girls in the various costumes you have unlocked and then take them to any of the stages in the game for a vigorous rubdown. Oddly, changing their costumes has absolutely no impact on their appearance in the normal game. Playing dress up is briefly amusing and you can assemble some extremely retarded looking costumes for the girls. It's nothing astonishing, but it's funny how badly some of the costumes clip through the girls so that their breasts flicker through their shirt several times a second or their giant green broom clips through their head.

The invisible menace attacks!Difficulty: After the adjustment period required by the extremely unwieldy controls the game becomes very easy. Navigating the story portion was a bit more difficult thanks to my lack of Japanese language skills, but I still managed to figure out how things worked on my first attempt. The real difficulty comes from the "reward" portions of the game in which you are molesting or having sex with one of the girls. The massage portions after the fights require a lot of patience since you have to stop rubbing away bruises whenever she starts to stir and wait for her to calm down and fall asleep again. It's sort of amusing the first time but when you're playing through the game five times like me it gets old in a hurry. The sex scenes are just ineptly put together. You control the camera with the keyboard, for Christ's sake.

Defining Moment: The first Battle Raper has already defined most of the moments in this game related to sex and fighting so I'm going to have to go with "the tenth time I got the camera stuck inside a girl's torso" for Battle Raper 2. I cannot stress enough how awkward the sex sequences are to control. Yeah, they're awkward to watch, but trying to man-handle the camera around just makes them excruciating.

Final Thoughts: I want to say that I am glad they took the rape out of "Battle Raper 2," but sadly, I just can't. If you're going to make a game with rape in the title there needs to be rape in it. Call it "Battle Fucker" or "Battle Molester" or something, but when you're capitalizing on the first game's huge brand recognition you need to deliver on the solemn promise of including rape. It's a contract between the developer and the consumer.

Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst).

Do you have a Hentai / Anime question? Feel free to head on over and post it in the SA Anime Forums!

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)