Diary of a Sneeze Fetishist, submitted by Raj. If you give the Internet enough time, eventually you'll find a fetish for every single mundane thing in the world. We've got guys who jack off to images of hairy armpits, people who pay money to feel woman punch them in the balls, and Japanese who get off to women filling their panties in public places. Why can't these people just adopt a normal, healthy, wholesome lesbian foot fetish like me? AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON IN THIS WORLD GONE CRAZY?!? Today's Awful Link of the Day deals with the highly erotic feature of gay men blowing their noses. Yeah, that's right, the sexy world of homosexual mucous production. Get ready for a slew of hot and spicy sneezing action, my gentle readers, because this erotic joyride will knock your socks off (and then my female foot fetish will be fulfilled as well)!
Another interesting thing I'm noticing, even as I'm writing this, is that I especially tend to stifle when I'm with a boyfriend or a man I find attractive. Unlike some people, I can't entirely stop my sneezes from coming when they invade my nose. I can make them less vocal, however, and I exercise that to the fullest. Even when I wasn't conscious that my interest in sneezing was an actual fetish, I'd always stifle around men I was interested in. In fact, I can be very embarrassed when I fail to manage it in time. I'm sure they never notice, but I completely do. I know that day in the coffee shop I sneezed a few times because of my cold. I didn't draw attention to the fact; I just pinched my nostrils shut and stifled, gleaning a few well intended "bless you"'s from Alex.
Though I like to bless people who sneeze, I hate it when people do it to me. Strange, isn't it? Maybe it's because they acknowledge something I wish they really wouldn't. It's as if you were to tell an involuntary flasher: "hey, I just saw your ---- there!" It would assuredly make them very uncomfortable. I think what goes on with me is something on the same level, though perhaps less disconcerting because sneezing and blessing happens on a daily basis and doesn't have that same negative social stigma attached to it. Though to tell the truth, the more I think of it, the more I think that comparison between involuntary flashing and sneezing in public for a fetishist is fitting. At least, for me, it's pretty much an apt metaphor for what I feel when public sneezing occurs. I also wonder whether that makes me a voyeur of sorts, when I see people sneezing in public and I stop to watch?
Wow! A Livejournal sneezing fetish site! What more could you possibly ask for, assuming you're still in the right mind to ask for something other than your own personal demise! Well how about some hot sneezing and S&M action? It's every fucking weird person's dream come true!
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.