Since the dawn of time (at least according to the SA Goons), telegrams have been the universal means of delivering important messages in a timely fashion. But what happens when a telegram never makes it to its destination? How does that alter history? Apparently a whole lot, as you will soon learn from looking at this week's offering of images. I'm sure a lot of you will grumble and complain, but damnit, this here's a readin' Phriday! It's all about the words and not the picture, so put that university education of yours to use by reading.

"Meglar" got our festivities started!

Bonus points to "TacticalPenis" for bringing us some Jackson humor that doesn't involve Michael.

"dancehall" made this picture using only his mind.

"Cheesegod" is going to die of cancer.

"Andress" finds he document that could have stopped one of America's greatest bloopers.

More Photoshop Phriday

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Advanced Level Sexy Catcalls

    Hows about you, me, and five uncomfortable minutes in my basement apartment next to the dusty Christmas tree that's still up from my last visit with my estranged children.

  • Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    Zagat's Guide to Poor Person Eating

    The Upper Kitchen Cabinet Where Your Roommate Keeps His Food: You’ll 'need the footstool' to reach your roommate’s 'fine selection' of 'stale cereal,' but he'll never notice if 'only a little is missing from each box.' Feel less guilty by reminding yourself that Jeff 'acts weird around your girlfriend,' and always 'asks about her.' What a 'creep.'

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