***DANIST WRITINGS***, submitted by Mickie. I wish I could come up with my own quasi-religious philosophy and name it after myself. I'd call it "Lowtaxism" and would promote the benefits of an all Special-K diet. That's all I eat these days: Special-K for breakfast, Special-K for lunch, and Special-K for dinner. I love Special-K and can't get enough of it. Why I'm trying to say here is that my philosophy, much like any other new-age philosophy consisting of bits and pieces borrowed from existing religions and restroom walls, is stupid. Fortunately, I currently lack the willpower and spare time to dictate every inane little nuance of my philosophy into a series of webpages full of run-on sentences and incoherent nonsense. Unfortunately, "Dan" apparently has more than enough free time for such a wonderful endeavor.
In The Year Of Our Lord 19 Hundred And 55, A Poet Named Allen Ginsberg Said; "I Saw The Best Minds Of My Generation Destroyed By Madness," I Unfortunately Have To Say That Mr. Ginsberg Would Be Correct In Saying The Same In Our Times, With One Minor Change, "I" Have Seen The Best Minds Of "My" Generation, Destroyed, By My Generation, Yes It Sounds Abrasive, But Its True, Look Towards Our Culture, The Youth Of America Is Broken Up, Its No Longer The Simple "Us Against The Them" Now Its Us Against (From My Social Standing Not That Of Others) The "Preps", The "Gangs", The "Rednecks", The "Cowboys", The "Goths", The "SXe" And Any Other Social Class You Can Think Of, Its No Longer A Question Of In Or Out, Not Even Of Socialite Or Social Outcast, The Painful Truth Is, Everyone Is An Outcast, Their Is No "Normal" Anymore, Everyone Has Become Broken Up Into Little Play Groups, And Gotten Stuck In A "I Wont Step In On You, If You Don't Step In On Me" Attitude, And To Make It Worse, Look At How The Kids Are Growing Up, I Mean Its Not Bad Enough That Kids Have To Put Up With Being A Social Outcast, They Also Have To Deal With Violence, Drugs, Parents, School, Media, People Telling Them What Is Good/ Bad For Them, And Then As If All That Wasn't Enough To Make A Kid Go Kill 15 People And Blow Up A School, We Get To Deal With The Question Asked By Most Parents, Grandparents And Just People Of The Older Generations In General, "How Can Kids Do Things Like That" Well, Quick Answer Next Time Something To The Effect Of That Question Gets Asked "You Created This World, We Have To Live In It, And Why Are You Bitching?" Anyway, After All That... We Cope, True Now And Then A Few Radicals, Bad Apples If You Wish, Spoil Things, But The Majority Of Us End Up Moving On As Did Every One Else To Become "Productive Members Of Society", But The Worst Is Yet To Come, Because Even Though We Cope, Look At A Group Of Kids Now And Then In Their "Comfortable Native Environment", They Talk About Music, Movies, Games, Food, Drinks (Alcoholic Or Non) They Don't Use Their Brain As Much As They Should, Between Years Of Being Taught In School Having Info. Crammed Into Their Brain And Parents Trying To Instill Morals And Spending Hours With Pop, Junk Food, TV As Their Stimulation, Then As They Get Older Music And Magazines Maybe Take Their Place, Ask An Average Kid To Think About Negative Space, You Will Get A Funny Look, A "Huh?" Or Even "I Try Not To Think, It Hurts", Most Kids Don't Read Unless They Are Made To In School, And This Has Extended To A Point That You Are Made An Outcast From The Social Group You Happen To Be In Because You "Think Too Much" Or Because Your A "Nerd" Or Some Other Insult, And Every Time You Try To Think For Yourself A Little More You Are Made More Of An Outcast, Because You Have Dared To Tread Beyond The Social Barrier, In Teen Flicks And Cartoons You Get Called A "Brain" And Often We Loose Such Interesting And Eccentric People To The More Strange Social Groups Like "Goth" Because The People Have Cast Them Out So Far That They Are Embracing The Seclusion, Then They Get Driven Further Because People Think Their Is Something Wrong, When In Fact It Is All Rooted In Self Expression, Now This Doesn't Mean That Everyone Conforms To The Norm Of Their Group, Their Are Many Who Can Belong To A Group And Still Be The "Odd One Out" Simply For Thinking Or Dressing Different. But If Things Keep Going As Is Soon They Will Begin Conforming And Their Numbers Will Dwindle, Even The Great Minds, Who Are The Aristotles', Edgar Allen Poes'', Plato', And Andy Warhols' Of Our Culture Are Being Conformed By Their "Tribe", So Called Kindred Spirits Become Regular People, Eccentrics Become Average, Great Minds Are Destroyed, Simply Because People Are Being Brought Up In A Way That Makes Them Somewhat Numb To Spontaneous Thought, Perhaps This Thought Goes On In The Sub-Conscious, But Consciously The Inspiration Has Been Beaten Out By School, And The Genius Has Been Choked By Unwritten Cultural Taboos' On Thinking, In A Way That May Someday Take Our Humanity...
Er... what? Dan should stop typing out shit like this:
THE OPPOSITE OF SIN, THAT COULD BE MANY THINGS, TO DECIDE THE OPPOSITE OF SIN, YOU MUST FIRST DEFINE SIN (THIS IS JUST MY PROCESS_REASONING AT WORK, PLAY ALONG AND WE WILL BE FINE). WE ASSUME THAT SIN, WOULD BE INHERENTLY BAD, THAT WHATEVER A SINFUL ACT IS, IT IS SOMETHING THAT IS PRESUMABLY BAD, SO THE OPPOSITE OF SIN WOULD BE SOMETHING PRESUMABLY GOOD. WELL, PLEASURE IS GOOD, PRESUMABLY. EVEN THE SIMPLEST PLEASURE OF EATING FOOD, IS PRESUMABLY GOOD, BUT THEN WHAT IF YOU STOLE THE FOOD FROM SOMEONE ELSE TO BRING YOURSELF PLEASURE, AND IN TURN THAT PERSON WAS DENIED PLEASURE, IN TURN THEY WERE MISERABLE, AND PERHAPS HE EVEN STARVED, FOR YOUR PLEASURE. THEN IT WOULD NOT BE QUITE SO GOOD WOULD IT? SO WE FIND THAT THE OPPOSITE OF SIN IS SOMETIMES IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE 'PLEASURABLE THINGS' IN LIFE. FOR A GENERAL DEFINITION AT THE LEAST.
NOW MOVING ON, BEING TREATED WELL IS GOOD, WE ALL ENJOY WELL TREATMENT, NO MATTER WHO WE ARE, OR WHAT OUR CONVICTIONS, BEING TREATED WELL EITHER BY OTHERS, OR LIFE IS PRESUMABLY GOOD ISN'T IT? BUT WE WOULDN'T PRESUME SO, IF OUR BEING TREATED WELL, WAS NOT IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE WELL TREATMENT OF OTHERS WOULD WE, IF OUR LIFE WERE PERFECT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE REST OF THE WORLD IT WOULD BE SAFE TO PRESUME THAT IN 'FEEDING' OFF OF OTHERS, WE WERE NOT LIVING GOOD. WE HAVE BECOME A PARASITE, TAKING FROM OTHERS THAT WHICH WE ARE TOO 'SLOTH' TO PROVIDE UNTO OURSELVES, WITH NO RETRIBUTION, WE DESTROY AND DO NOT CREATE, THEIR IS NO RETURN FOR OUR WITHDRAWAL, AND AS MOST OF US HAVE LEARNED FROM OUR PERSONAL ECONOMICS, WITHDRAWING WITHOUT DEPOSITING, ENDS IN REDUCTION, AND IF THIS PROCESS IS FOLLOWED TOO LONG, THEIR IS NOTHING LEFT TO WITHDRAW. NOTHING LEFT TO DRAW FROM AND WE ARE NO LONGER PERSONALLY PROSPEROUS.
SO WHAT IS SIN THEN? IF THE OPPOSITE OF SIN IS BEING TREATED WELL, IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE WELL TREATMENT OF OTHERS, AND PLEASURE IS GOOD, AT THE INEXPENSE OF OTHERS, AND WE THEN PRESUME THAT THIS APPLIES TO ALL MEN AND WOMEN (EQUALLY), THEN THE ONLY THINGS WE COULD TRULY SEE AS SIN, ARE THOSE THINGS IN OPPOSITION TO THE OPPOSITES OF SIN. SO SIN IS; THE MISTREATMENT OF OTHERS. TO TAKE AWAY ANOTHER MAN'S PLEASURE, OR HIS WELL TREATMENT.
AND THIS IS THE ONE MAIN TEACHING OF THE MAN; JESUS CHRIST, "DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU." THIS DOCTRINE ASSUMES THE SAME THINGS I HAVE IN THIS PROCESS, THAT THE ULTIMATE GOAL IN LIFE IS TRUE UNINHIBITED PROSPERITY, AND THAT THE INTERFERENCE WITH ANOTHER MAN'S PROSPERITY IS SIN. THE 10 COMMANDMENTS ARE ALL BASED IN THIS, TO KILL A MAN, TO STEAL HIS WIFE OR COW, TO CREATE IDOLATRY, TO BLASPHEME THE NAME OF GOD, TO BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST A MAN, ALL THESE THINGS ARE SEEN AS SIN BECAUSE THEY INTERFERE WITH PROSPERITY, TO KILL BECAUSE IT EXTINGUISHES FURTHER ATTEMPTS AT PROSPERITY, TO STEAL BECAUSE IT REQUIRES FURTHER EFFORT TO REACH THE SAME LEVEL OF RELATIVE PROSPERITY, TO BEAR FALSE WITNESS BECAUSE IT CAN CAUSE OTHERS TO INTERFERE WITH A MAN'S PROSPERITY, AND THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL FOR LAST; TO BLASPHEME GOD, BECAUSE IT OFFENDETH ANOTHER MAN, AND OFFENCE BREEDS MISTRUST, AND IMPROPRIETY. FINALLY TO CREATE IDOLATRY, BECAUSE WHEN CREATING AN IDOL (STATUE, CHURCH, CROSS, TEMPLE, GOLDEN COW), IT IS NOT THAT YOU ARE WORSHIPING A FALSE GOD, OR IMAGE OF GOD, NOT EVEN WORSHIPING WRONGLY, BUT RATHER YOU ARE CREATING AN ICON WHICH CAUSES RELIGIOUS CONFLICT, WAR AND IMPROPRIETY. YOUR ICON, OR BLASPHEMY HAS BROUGHT ON CONFLICT, AND CONFLICT WILL BREED ALL SORTS OF UNPROSPEROUS ACTS BY YOURSELF, AND OTHERS, NOT BECAUSE THAT WAS IT'S INTENT, BUT BECAUSE THAT IS IT'S EFFECT. BECAUSE IT DISCREDITS ANOTHER MAN. AND TO DISCREDIT HIM IS TO BEAR FALSE WITNESS, NAE IT IS TO DEBASE THAT WHICH ANOTHER MAN SEES AS RIGHT, TO DESTROY, TO WITHDRAW, AND THEN TO OFFER NOTHING BUT MORE DESTRUCTION AND WITHDRAWAL, BY PLACING YOUR OWN BLASPHEMY OR ICON IN IT'S PLACE.
And instead type shit like this:
Hey guys, I'm Dan and I'm fucking crazy!
See? I just saved everybody hours and hours of time. You can thank me later, Dan.
Obviously, the first thing necessary to getting back in shape is buying a bunch of expensive knick-knacks.
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.