Brinatello's TMNT Page, submitted by mike.jpg. Sites like Brinatello's TMNT Page make me feel good about the amount of time I've wasted writing shitty go-nowhere short stories, playing video games, and watching crappy Kung Fu DVDs. Brinatello has written not just one but several complete epic works of fanfiction devoted to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The amount of work that has gone into these dull, confusing, and disgusting novel-length pieces is staggering and in many ways comforting. Because no matter how long I spent trying to beat the annoying faggot last boss of "Crimson Seas" it was time infinitely better spent than Brinatello's.
"Mike." Sam took over. "She's been cursed with some sort of witchcraft. It's something to prevent her from seeing or even mentioning you guys. I wanted to go to my room to look in one of my books to see if I can help her."
Michaelangelo stared with interest. "You study witchcraft?"
"Wicca, Black Magic, White Magic, Glamours, but yes, some forms of sorcery. I know one or two thinks in the spellbound world. If I could just get a hold of what he used, there might be a chance."
I CAN'T STOP READING! What shy and boring character will the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles become creepily obsessed with next? Will it be one of Brinatello's friends from junior highschool?! A girl can dream!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.