Crystalinks, submitted by Mongo.I wish to change pace here and get a little serious with you guys. I have found a lady that has snared my wild heart with her metaphysical charms and rugged gypsy looks. I wanted you guys to be the first to know, seeing how close we are, and decided to come right out with it before the whispers and rumors blew up into a full scale Internet scandal. Yes, she is Ellie Crystal, and yes, I am seeing the awful link of the day.If falling for a crazy Internet lady with an inground pool is wrong, I don't want to be right.
You don't need to tell me how forbidden this love is. A Something Awful writer and a awful link have never dared to stand up to the system, and tear down all the barriers, never to look back. I don't expect any of you to understand, but I will tell you this: if you try to interfere with this romance, or threaten Ellie in any way, I will use maximum force to take you and your crew out. On my terms. Please enjoy the website. (Update: The bitch dumped me for Greasnin because he has awards for writing plays! Go ahead and shit all over this loony broad's site!)
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.