Crystalinks, submitted by Mongo.I wish to change pace here and get a little serious with you guys. I have found a lady that has snared my wild heart with her metaphysical charms and rugged gypsy looks. I wanted you guys to be the first to know, seeing how close we are, and decided to come right out with it before the whispers and rumors blew up into a full scale Internet scandal. Yes, she is Ellie Crystal, and yes, I am seeing the awful link of the day.If falling for a crazy Internet lady with an inground pool is wrong, I don't want to be right.
You don't need to tell me how forbidden this love is. A Something Awful writer and a awful link have never dared to stand up to the system, and tear down all the barriers, never to look back. I don't expect any of you to understand, but I will tell you this: if you try to interfere with this romance, or threaten Ellie in any way, I will use maximum force to take you and your crew out. On my terms. Please enjoy the website. (Update: The bitch dumped me for Greasnin because he has awards for writing plays! Go ahead and shit all over this loony broad's site!)
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Sorry about the blurry photo. I was lunging at my phone, yelling at it to take a clear picture. It's the only image of me that exists. I'd take another picture for you, but I'm in the middle of a rigorous trampoline session.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.