MarthaStewart.com, submitted by Martha. This is Martha Stewart's crazy web site where you can read all sorts of advice that makes no sense. Example:
All books should be taken off the shelves, dusted, and put back only after the shelves are washed, or polished if they are natural wood. You might think, too, of a new arrangement for the shelves. Maybe add some oversized objects—porcelain bowls or cachepots can be interspersed with books. Polish the picture frames, wash the glass overlays on each one, and consider re-arranging them. Why not add some new photos to the collection using the frames you received for Christmas? I chide myself for the large numbers of empty frames I have—someday soon I will put in new photos! Any objects that are usually displayed as decoration should be given a cleaning. China should be washed; brass, copper, or silver objects polished; wooden objects dusted and waxed.
What the hell is a cachepot? Sounds like a Linux thing. And did you see how she snuck in an anti-Chinese insult in there? What a bitch.
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
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