Comfort Pets, submitted by AlbertHerring. When my dog, Petain, died in an airplane crash last year, I did what any God-fearing American would do: burned him to a cinder and shot his remains out of a potato gun onto my neighbor's lawn. Now I wish I still had those ashes because if I had known about this site, I could've put them inside a plush doggie that looked just like him. At Comfort Pets, their idea of getting over the mourning process for a loved pet is to place its ashes into a stuffed animal and treat it like it's alive. If you are feeling a little lonely, you can always cuddle with your dead animal under the bed covers and cry all night. That's perfectly healthy.
The whole premise sounds like a plot to a terrible Sci-Fi original movie. Isn't that what happens in the movie Child's Play with Chuckie the doll? I can see Petain coming back to really annoy me in the afterlife, like chewing on my toes while I'm trying to sleep and trying to trip me so I fall down the stairs. I vote this site "Creepy people who love their pets too much."
Also what's the deal with the chocolate dog treats that come with the zombie pet package? Are these for the owners to eat after holding them to the stuffed animal's motionless mouths, or are they just there to mock the dead creatures who cannot enjoy such worldly pleasures anymore? Man, that's cold.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
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