Comfort Pets, submitted by AlbertHerring. When my dog, Petain, died in an airplane crash last year, I did what any God-fearing American would do: burned him to a cinder and shot his remains out of a potato gun onto my neighbor's lawn. Now I wish I still had those ashes because if I had known about this site, I could've put them inside a plush doggie that looked just like him. At Comfort Pets, their idea of getting over the mourning process for a loved pet is to place its ashes into a stuffed animal and treat it like it's alive. If you are feeling a little lonely, you can always cuddle with your dead animal under the bed covers and cry all night. That's perfectly healthy.
The whole premise sounds like a plot to a terrible Sci-Fi original movie. Isn't that what happens in the movie Child's Play with Chuckie the doll? I can see Petain coming back to really annoy me in the afterlife, like chewing on my toes while I'm trying to sleep and trying to trip me so I fall down the stairs. I vote this site "Creepy people who love their pets too much."
Also what's the deal with the chocolate dog treats that come with the zombie pet package? Are these for the owners to eat after holding them to the stuffed animal's motionless mouths, or are they just there to mock the dead creatures who cannot enjoy such worldly pleasures anymore? Man, that's cold.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.