Presidential Election 2008 Full Coverage On Yahoo! News, submitted by me. Presidential election coverage already? No. Please. I have endured enough politics in the last five years to make my entire life miserable. It's a wonder that my hair hasn't fallen out in clumps and that I can go without weeping for almost a whole hour each day.
When I check out the news I want to see fires that have destroyed entire neighborhoods or fathers who have shot their entire familes then killed themselves, not this depressing shit. Can we all agree to put this election stuff off until the last possible minute and pick our next leader with the largest game of "Not It!" ever played?
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.