Until last week, I'd never heard of Miranda Cosgrove, being allergic to Jack Black (School of Rock) and older than 11 (Drake and Josh, iCarly). But when an intrepid reader alerted me that her online following was a bit askew, I checked out Miranda-Cosgrove.net. Webmaster David, a 20-year-old English physics student, concludes his mission statement by pining for a Cosgrove interview: "To be able to send the fans' questions to Miranda herself would be a wonderful thing. It may be a wild aim, but there's nothing wrong with striving for the unlikely dream." It's inspiring to see people pursue such edifying life goals as an e-mail interview with a semi-famous kid -- reach for the stars, David! David pays Cosgrove poetic tribute with a sonnet that repeatedly references her "haunting eyes," an odd distinguishing characteristic for a 15-year-old comic actress.
Miranda-Cosgrove.net advertises job openings, because nothing says "viable career opportunity" like an Internet shrine to a relatively obscure teenage starlet. Unlisted, yet available, is David's position, which he resigned last fall in a maudlin farewell missive ("Most of all, I apologise to Miranda. I'll always be your fan and supporter and I'm sorry for not doing you justice.") The now-rudderless site still hosts an active forum, on which creepy Cosgrove enthusiasts fetishize her feet and pose probing questions such as "Is Miranda ticklish and where?"
Did you know that you only use 10% of your brain? You may have heard that before. But what if you could use 100%? YOU CAN!
This is where the excerpt from an article usually goes. Since the content of this update is only intended for cool people, I refuse to place a single word in the path of blundering normal people.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.