Military veterans deal with a difficult transition back to civilian life. Side-effects might include disturbing hallucinations involving fast-moving heads, or the shooting and subsequent oven-baking of your own Agent Orange-mutated baby. Gainful employment keeps vets from spending time alone with their harrowing memories, which helps explain why South Puget Sound's returning servicemen have become so enthralled with their new calling: picking up dog shit. Meet the "Poo Platoon." With the exception of "non-solid, loose nasty poo" and "really, really muddy areas," they'll deal with anything! Members of the armed forces are used to doing America's dirty work, so there's no better way to make them feel at home -- and to say "thank you on behalf of our country" -- than to hire them to scoop up your pet's crap.
One wizard thinks our President's magic control initiatives have gone too far.
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.