Did you know? The Air Bud franchise contains fourteen films [including the "Air Buddies" spinoff series]? I know, it's such a small number! Don't get me started on the pathetic amount of MVP films - there's only three of them and the third is called "MXP: Most Xtreme Primate" so it doesn't count. Luckily, some posters on some irrelevant forum somewhere got together and revitalized these pathetic, withered franchises, and the results are presented here for your reading pleasure!
laura dreamed of success and stardom in the competitive field of synchronized swimming, but somehow she always seemed to have four left appendages in the water
. . . until that fateful day she fell off the family's sailboat and into the surprised flippers of Grace the Sea Cow!
they were told they could never compete as a team, but nobody counted on their secret weapon: friendship
mvp (most valuable piscine) MCMLXXXIV: oh, the huge manatee!
Little Billy Johnson is off to his first day at camp, but there's been a mix-up and he's been sent to...Prison??? (zooming in and out onto picture of cell bars) (camera then snaps to grubby man in black and white striped uniform with eyepatch and beard speaking between the bars of his cell) "Whad'rya in fa kiddo" (zoom in on Home Alone eske face slapping child with trombone background). With his parents unaware and off on a year long cruise *ship horn blow sound effect. segwaying into pirate arr sound effect* no hope is in sight for Billy. (large question mark appears on screen) But a mysterious benefactor sends a letter home just in time and everyone's favorite dog Air Bud is off to the rescue (cue scene of dog paw opening mailbox, fishing out letters, then dog paw inexplicably holding a letter opener breaking a red wax seal on old parchment paper). Get prepared for hijinks (cue scene of prisoner getting kicked in the balls by airbud, then going cross eyed) "Arr my jimmies!" And lots of fun (cue scene of air bud and billy giving back to back thumbs up) as they make their way out of this predicament (cue scene of child running in the dark with his dog as sirens and rifle shots ring in the distance). Coming this summer, JailBud 2.0! (cue face of man being kicked in nuts "my jimmies!")
Predators scrambling over surprising upset, "klllicklkikackikiktktkacktk!" Subtitle: There's no fundamental law that says a dog can't participate in the Hunt!"
announcer on the frolf course: oh, it looks like a wicked hook from Billy Bungaboo, that's gonna do it folks
other announcer on the frolf course: wait a gat dang minute Ted, the golf disc seems to be correcting itself, could it be, it's going right for the chainlink thing hole do we call it a hole in frolf ya we probably do it's going for the hole!
*camera following the frisbee golf disc slowly lowers, a sugar glider clinging upside down beneath the disc lip snickers and winks at the camera*
Air Bud digs with his paws and pulls a huge fossilized bone out of the ground, carries it to Dr. Ellie Sadler wagging his tail
John Hammond steps out of a helicopter: " that's the famous paleontologist Dr. Bud?"
Lawyer, flipping thru pages on a clipboard: "well sir, there's no stipulation that says a dog can't sign off on the park."
Xpiacoc, Uniter of the Ziggurauts: Welp, there's nothing in the Popol Vuh that says a dog can't play Ōllamaliztli. Air Bud, the Rite of First Bloodlet belongs to you.
Air Bud: Bark! Bark! (The moon will dance in the river of blood! Let us begin!)
[an exerpt from Air Bud LXIX: Teotihua-canine]
in his twilight years, his athletic days long behind him, air bud decides to use his intellect to help his own species. air bud: senior vet. there's no rule that says a dog can't put himself down.
Air Bud: Golden Believer
Joey just joined ISIS but finds that his new friends don't respect dogs, which is bad news for his plucky golden retriever Bud. Through wacky hijinks and the fall of Mosul, Bud must prove his worth and show why he is a valuable asset and worthy of respect and why he is... the Golden Believer.
I'm thankful that the internet has a few more weeks of Net Neutrality protection before the inevitable outcome of deregulation comes to pass. I'll see you on Tier Basic, assuming you spring for the Limited Email Plan and your ISP hasn't throttled this domain.
Hey, friends! Steve Mnuchin is taking a trip to the money. Let's go with him!
Buy three Epic Loot Crates for only $7.99, get a free fourth loot crate for only $2.99!
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.