Here is a hat-trick of three fat dinosaurs from Ulalume. So should we call it a FAT-TRICK? No. Of course not.

webster876 believes that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, but what will the gossip rags and tabloids think?

It's time for the giant asteroid of a looming deadline to strike down upon this thriving planet of creativity, wiping out all signs of life. If I ever stumble across any of the forum goons who contributed to this week's Goldmine I swear to God I will take them in my arms and let them know how much they mean to me as I blow on their neck and nibble their ear(s). Next week's Comedy Goldmine won't cover such fictitious topics such as "the existence of dinosaurs" but will instead focus on real factual happenings such as Jews being the cause of economic recession. Bring your bible and join me next Tuesday for more good times and great memories with God's favorite front page feature.

– Craig "Russ" Russell

More Comedy Goldmine

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Lair Flair!

    Lair Flair!

    Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!

  • SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    SkyMall Product Review: Bark Deterring Ultrasonic Collar

    Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.

Copyright ©2014 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.